OK, I need to get this out. I wrote a little about it on the weekend, but feel like I need to write about it all. I’m not writing this as slander – this is MY story, MY experiences, and MY thoughts. This is MY blog to vent or write about what ever I want. If someone is going through – or has gone through something similar, maybe it can help. I hope it can help. Chatting and teasing can be fun – but there’s a line. When that line is crossed, its time to speak out. No one – man or woman (or child!!!) deserves to be put in that uncomfortable position. Children are so vulnerable and if things like this is happening to them, they need to be protected. I thought Chris Powers was a friend – despite my “oogy” feelings. He was so supportive, listened to my problems, gave me advice… little did I know, he was a predator under the pretense of friendship. I should have followed my gut instincts and just ignored him, but he wormed his way in and made me feel sorry for him. I’m fun person – I tease, I like to joke around about a lot of things, and can be naughty – but in a fun way, I never intend to offend anyone, nor am I really serious. Intimacy is very important to me. I thought he was joking around, and I’d joke back. I NEVER told him I wanted to do anything with him. I always made it clear that he was married and I was not interested in him that way. I want to find a man to love – but I’m not some weak woman, I will not be taken advantage of. I may have been taken advantage of in this case, as a friend. I’m angry as hell with him for taking advantage of my friendship. I’m so grateful for finding out what a slime he was before he could hurt me. My heart goes out to those he did hurt. He was so clingy right from the start – offered his “couch” the first time we ever chatted – if I ever came to town. I couldn’t even come online without him IM-ing me immediately a lot of the time… the times he didn’t I was relieved. He was very needy, always saying he had no friends except ones he’d met “online”. “Always wanted to be popular.” “No one likes me.” “Hardly anyone visits my site.” “How can I make people like me?” “No one understands me.” “There are so many rumors going around the net about me, none of them are true.” On that one, I actually told him that they must not understand what’s going on, and it’s none of their business. UGH – I can’t believe I told him that now! I actually can’t believe I talked to him at all now that I see what he was up to – and what he did to other women. He made me feel guilty – for trying to limit communications. (see 2nd post on 9/25/02). He whined about it in one of his posts and ended it with “thank God for my real friends” That pissed me off enough to write a counter post. I couldn’t be the kind of friend he needed, didn’t have the time or energy – he sucked the energy from me. I’d get online to talk to my boy friend and he kept bugging me – he was driving me bonkers. He asked questions about my relationship – personal, sexual questions. Kept making cracks about things he’d read I “like” sexually – mostly from the Memes or funny things I’d say. Kept saying he was going to show up on my door step with a jar of peanut butter and some ice. I’d take it in stride, just kind of do the LOL thing, joke back, etc. (in your dreams, dude) Things said often which made me really uncomfortable hearing all the time – and asked him to stop. He stopped some for a while, and then started up again. * “I love you” * “I’m in love with you” * “You’re so beautiful” * “You’re so strong, I admire you.” * “You’re so sexy” * “You’ve got the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen” * “I wanna make you blush, its fun.” * “My day has not been made until I make you blush.” * “One day you’re gonna have a star by your name on my site” (meaning that he’s met me) Some of the most memorable: * “Shana told me to get nice and horny because she wants to sleep really well tonight, if you get my drift… and you’re the first person I thought of to get me horny.” (get it somewhere else, bud) * Are you wearing a bra? (I answered none of your business) then a few mins later, said “hugs” me like a dummy said “hugs back” then he said “Aha – so you’re not wearing a bra” (asshole!) * “You and your bf should come to FL, stay with us… we have a couch.” When declined – a matter of privacy, he said “Oh, we won’t mind your noises if you don’t mind ours.” (yeah right!!) * “I’m sitting here naked… got any ideas?” (barfing maybe?) I was asked the “cam sex”, and “nudie pics” questions once – I guess I disappointed him when I said that was between my boyfriend and I – and none of his business. When I said I'd talked to my BF on the phone, he made cracks about phone sex - joked around about it - but that was none of his business either - it was between J and I. There's more to do on a phone than have phone sex, try talking sometime. LOL! He’d always say “Shana and I are so much in love, and I don’t keep anything from her.” “We have wild sex all the time.” What I want to know is – where was Shana? Why did he have so much time on his hands to talk to so many women? Why was she allowing him to buy gifts for these women? Why wasn’t he getting the things from HER that he was getting from other women? Unless that’s part of their “key to a happy marriage”???? So anyway – where I go from here... I learn from my mistakes and expecially not listening to my instincts. I hope others will do the same – if you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to assertive and possible hurt their feelings by telling them to leave you alone. Don’t give out personal information unless you are certain you can trust the person. If they are persistent about getting such information, you can be certain its not safe.