Friday, December 13
Dear Santa, I have been a good girl. It really wasn't my fault what happened at Linda's Christmas party. It was Colin who spiked the punch with too much Sex on the Beach. I can't help it if I drank 6 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla. I thought it was funny when I put Sandi's shirt on my head and danced the funky chicken on the chair while singing `Feel Like Making Love'. I didn't mean to break Linda's CD player and don't know why Linda would sue me for stealing. I don't remember calling Randy's wife a cute sheep---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick! And when I threw up on Robin's husband's tongue, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza. After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Blazer through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stinky cat and have me arrested for assult! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sensuous and horny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this funny stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money! Sincerely and run yours, Karen (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 5 bucks! Go here for your letter.