Thursday, July 31
I feel like I've been hit by a big emotional truck this morning, but am feeling better than last night. All this stress and turmoil just isn't worth risking my health over. I need to draw the line and not cross it. I am human though, and I go along dealing with things pretty well on a daily basis then all of the sudden BOOM it explodes. I wish so much I felt strong enough to work out again, that sure helped get my stresses out before and I know it will do it again. So frustrating. I'm also so tired of being tired. I still haven't heard from my RA doc about my hematocrit blood levels so I'll call today - we've got to find out what's causing my anemia. I won't let any of this beat me... I may have had a bad day yesterday and will probably still have a bad day today, but its getting better and it WILL get better, one way or the other. I need to keep my fighting spirit (its still there, I can feel it, its just taking a beating right now) up. I sound brave, don't I?! I'm also trying to convince myself even as I'm writing this that I'm so brave and can handle anything. Really though - I've been through so much in my life, I'm not giving in now. Just having some set backs this year. *Concentrate on the good things, concentrate on the good things*. I have such incredible friends and family to help me through things and am never alone. I'm so fortunate to have all of you in my life. No matter how much I bitch you're always there, sending hugs and leaving supportive comments. I have 7 hours to work today, will be off at Noon, then will take my car in to the mechanic. Dad is meeting me there and will take me home. If I'm feeling up to it, I've decided I'm going to clean the hell out of my room. It needs it and I need the therapy ;-). Have a good day everyone and thanks so much for listening and your support... and if you want to play 3 for Thursday the questions are up!