Saturday, August 30

I got a very quick, short e-mail from that Robert guy in Idaho in my e-mail this morning. He said that he's sorry he's been really busy and would be spending the weekend with his two kids, which is great. I'm happy for him. But ya know, I really don't feel like he's making much of an effort to get to know me, so I put it to him like this: " I understand what its like to be busy. I work full time, going to school full time, have health issues, and deal with every day life, yet I still make an effort to try to get to know you. I was wondering if you really do want to get to know me, since it seems like you're not making much of an effort. I don't want to waste your time." ( I almost wrote that I didn't want to waste my time either but decided against it) Then I told him I'd leave it up to him, and wished him a good weekend with his kids. I figure if he's really interested then he will make an effort, if not... I am probably expecting too much from people. I know everyone has different personalities, different traits, different priorities, but with guys that I potentially will have relationships with, I want them to put as much of an effort in as I do. Is that too much to ask? I've had too many experiences where I bust my ass to be there for them, and they don't do the same. It leaves me feeling empty and drained. So, I've come to the conclusion that if they aren't putting any effort in then I'm not going waste my time and energy. Does that make me a bitch? Sometimes I feel like one when draw the line like that, but I've learned some hard lessons and am tired of being let down and hurt. All was quiet on the Western Front last night. Mom said that Kathy is being nice, and I said "Yes, too nice... because she knows she's in deep and is kissing up." Mom said "I know." the we giggled. Ellis isn't here, he's where ever he stays when he's not here and God knows where that is. He only comes here when he's out of money and needs food. I'm really not going to worry about things too much though, I can't. Its not good for my health to get stressed out over it and I've got a lot of studying to do. So I'll just stay down here in my basement and do my own thang. I was toying with the idea of taking Mom and Dad to lunch or even a movie today, after the day they had yesterday they deserve a treat.