Got this quiz from Kane
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Its amazing how much better I feel, thanks to the prednisone - and no allergic reaction so far! . I'm so grateful for everyone's thoughts, healthy vibes and prayers - they have helped! I'm still not 100%, but it feels so good to be able to move without crying in pain. As I was getting out of bed and getting ready this morning, I thought of every little thing I'm thankful for being able to do without as much pain: Turning over in bed, getting out of bed, walking, going potty, petting my cat, getting undressed, showering, squeezing shampoo and bath gel bottles, drying off, getting dressed, squeezing toothpaste tube and brushing teeth, cleaning ears, combing hair, drying hair, curling hair, putting on make up, putting on my socks and shoes, walking up the stairs, fixing and eating breakfast, and driving my in car. That was all within 45 minutes. The little things we all take for grantid. Its amazing. I came into work this morning and started packing. Most everyone is moved now, and I was behind. I had a couple of people offer to help me on Monday, but since I came in today, I just did it. Its a "down Friday" so very few people are even here. I took it slow and easy, and have now finished the packing. All that is left to do is tear down my PCs and move the rest of my things. That will certainly be done on Monday by the guys who are helping me. Then, the fun part... setting everything back up and unpacking. I'll just take a bit at a time though - there's no rush in unpacking a lot of it. I have to work for about another hour, then I'm off to my gastro doc to find out what more he can do to help with the ulcerative colitis. The one med is helping, but hasn't completely. Then I'm going home to crash. I do have some errands to run, but they'll have to wait until tomorrow. Mom said she'd go with me to make sure I behaved. *snicker* good luck on getting me to behave now that I'm starting to feel better. I've got lots of trouble to cause to make up for all the time I've been sick. I'll get around to visit all of you soon - I really have missed reading and saying hello to everyone!

I'm back. Yesterday was such a horrid day. I don't think I have ever experienced such pain. Every joint in my body had me screaming in pain. My hands were so bad I could barely type. I called my doc and I spent two hours in his office yesterday afternoon, with him trying to figure out what was best for me. He's pretty sure - from my flare - that I am indeed on placebo on this clinical trial I'm on (the other slim possibility is that I'm not responding). So he's trying to get me on what's called open label so I can still be on the trial, but know for certain I'm getting the real med. He's also put me on prednisone, a very low dose since I've had a reaction to it and cortizone before. He wants to make sure it is indeed the prednisone that I was having the reaction to and not just the cortizone, since having reactions to prednisone is highly rare. He's also put me on the anti-inflammatory Bextra 4 pills a day (base RX is one!). If I don't see any improvment in the next couple of days then I'm going off the trial completely and going with the Remecade (which is $4000 per treatment!). Its so expensive to get healthy! On the upside, if I do go on the Remecade, it should help my ulcerative colitis as well! But, we'll see. One thing I do know, is that I cannot go on like this. Michelle sent me a really nice card - thanks Michelle! And thank you to everyone who left comments. I can't tell you how much each one means. Thanks to Colin who put up a t-shirt for me today, that totally cracked me up! I think I'll stay home today, and work from home as I can. I've got some slides that I need to reformat so it should keep me busy and I can work on them the next couple of days if I need to. As long as they're done by Monday. Have a great Thursday everyone! :-)

Made it to work today - woohoo! It definitely worked to take a pain pill in the middle of the night. Wow, the weather is really turning nasty this morning. Snow and strong winds. Brrrr. Yesterday as I was leaving, I ran into that Mike guy, damnit! I haven't seen him since just after Xmas and was hoping I'd never see him again. He asked me how I've been and I replied, "Shitty." and kept walking, he said "Sorry to hear that, and he kind of ran the other way." tee hee I'm hoping I scared him away so he won't stop by today. I really don't want to deal with him. I didn't do much at all last night. I was craving an Arby's Beef & Cheddar sandwich so I stopped and got one on the way home. Tasted really yummy, and best of all, I didn't have to cook. I checked my e-mail quickly then headed to bed early. Now I come into my cubical that is in complete disarray with boxes here and there. At least I'm making progress with the packing. I've got 4 small boxes of things I'm taking home, and will have to get one of the guys to carry them out for me. I need to go through my CDs and decide which ones I really want to keep at work, and take the rest home, since I won't have nearly the storage in the other building. I best get busy! Have a great day!

I finally made it to work! Only 4 hrs late... better than not at all. I've decided the secret of having a relatively good morning is to get ahead of the pain, to get up in the middle of the night and take a pain pill. I feel like such a druggy, but I gotta do what I gotta do. When I came into work, I found several documents and magazines that had been dropped off by some anonymous givers. How kind of them to think of ME to dump their crap on. Since we're moving, everyone is going through things, and I guess they think I would want their extra stuff. Well, they thought wrong. I've got enough crap of my own, I don't need more. I've just put up a sign "This is a NO DUMPING ZONE" so maybe they'll get the hint. I'm also playing with the idea of sending out an e-mail asking whoever dumped the stuff to come claim it. tee hee Have a great Monday everyone! I gotta ton of stuff to do today!

I'm not myself. I'm in constant pain and its taking so much out of me to even function half way and my energy level is so low. My emotions are up and down, most my emotional energy is going towards keeping up a brave front. I've had some of my friends comment that they miss me, and to be honest, I miss me too. I hate feeling so rotten. This RA flare up is taking its toll and I just am at a loss of what to do most of the time. I don't mean to sit here and bitch - I just want to explain that I'm still here - I'm just surrounded by pain and you'll have to be patient with me until I can get through this. I also want to really thank everyone who stops by and gives me encouragement. It means the world to me. Its what I need - the encouragement to keep going. To know that people out there really care and are concerned and are pulling for me - my own personal cheering section, if you will. A good friend of mine had been avoiding me because she didn't know what to do. She said she was frustrated and didn't want to see me in pain all the time. Well, that makes two of us. Then she starts in on me about needing to go to a pain clinic because this one friend of hers said I needed to. I can't go to a pain clinic because my insurance doesn't cover it. I'm already swamped with medical bills and cannot afford it. I don't have a husband's income like they do to fall back on. At first I appreciated the effort she was putting in - trying to solve my problems, but now I'm getting down right pissed off. I don't want or need her to solve my problems. I want her to be my friend and I want her to quit talking about MY health problems with that woman. I don't like that woman, she's a two-faced bitch and has been so rude to me. My friend knows how I feel about this woman, but still she talks to her about me. I don't think that's right. I know I need to say something to my friend, but not sure how to go about it. I'm seeing doctors and they're doing what they can for me. There are no easy answers for RA and Ulcerative Colitis. I've pretty much done squat today - and yesterday for that matter. I'm sooo sleepy all the time. I keep taking cat naps, but wake up so stiff and sore I can hardly move. I'm gearing up for work tomorrow - but I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to going. Work is a good thing for me. It helps me forget my pain (as much as I can) and makes me feel useful. I hate sitting here doing nothing, I really do. I like to veg, but not when its forced. No fun if its forced. Well, enough wining ;-) I'm gonna head off and try and move around. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Question of the Week by Sara List 5 people dead or alive you would want stranded with you on a desert island for 3 weeks. You probably want to choose people that are rugged, built for survival and can hunt down food for you and the others. Your best friend may be nice to talk to, but, can they survive in the wilderness? 1-2. My parents. They've taught me all the surival skills I have now, and they're great camping cooks! 3. The Professor from Gilligan's Island. 4. A sexy man who hunts - not for sport but for food. The sexy part is essential... gotta have a couple different types of meat. *snicker* 5. My cat. She warns me of nasty creatures.

I never would have believed it, but one water pill has made all the difference in the world. I am not nearly in the amount of pain than I have been. All the extra fluid in my feet/ankles was really causing problems. Although I'm peeing a lot, its nice to have a bit of pain relief. YAY! I hope this is a sign of really good things to come. Honestly I don't know how much more of the severe pain I could tolerate. I know that a lot of people in this world are a lot worse off than I am, and my heart goes out to them, both for their pain and for their courage to face each and every day. I'm siitting here eating fruit loops and watching The Incredible Mr. Limpet. I haven't eaten fruit loops in ages, but I had to buy them yesterday when I saw the toy offered inside: A bobble-head Winnie the Pooh. But wouldn't ya know it, its clear down at the bottom of the box. Which means I'll have to eat a lot of fruit loops to get him out. My goal for today is to go and visit everyone and catch up. Happy Saturday everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pharmacy just loves me. I spent $120 there today for 7 prescriptions. I guess its not so bad, since 4 of them had a $10 co-pay. Still - OUCH. I went to my doc appt and my blood pressure was really good, so he's keeping me on the lower dose. YAY. I also had him check my feet and ankles since they are soooooo swollen. I wanted to make sure it was all RA and not fluid retention. Well, its a combo of both so he's putting me on a water pill and potassium. He wants to see me again on Tuesday afternoon to see how I'm getting along. Being so swollen could be one of the reasons I'm in so much pain, so hopefully the water pills will help. I also had to start taking iron because my platelets were really low in my last blood test from my RA visit. I'm turning into a walking pharmacy. There are 3 prescriptions that I didn't even have filled today, those are for next pay day. Oh well, as long as these meds help. I'm going to start going through a mail service for my prescriptions to get a 90-day supply at a lower co-pay. The monthly pharmacy is just killing my budget. I got 4 written prescriptions from Dr M today, and I'll get the other written ones as I visit the other doctors. I think I'm off to bed... I hear it calling me. Now I wish there was a sexy guy in my bed calling me, now THAT would really make me feel better ;-) *snicker*

I'm so glad I didn't have to work today... UGH. I woke up about 2am in such pain, so I took a couple of pain pills and fell back asleep for a few hours in my recliner. Ashley the cuddle-muffin was right on my lap the whole time. I'm really moving slow today, not even going to do my cleaning. I've got a doc appt with my general doc this morning, so he can check my blood pressure since he cut my dosage in half 3 weeks ago. Then I've got a trip to the pharmacy and the grocery store. My Mom said she'd come with me for those so I'll come back and pick her up after my doc appt. I've got to sit here and pay bills since I didn't do it last night. Its always so depressing, paying bills ;-) The money goes way too fast. But at least I have the money for the bills! Have a great day, everyone!!!!!

Our internet at work took a nose dive this morning so I didn't get around to visit as many of you as I would have liked to. Now that I'm home, I'm sooooooo exhausted and in a lot of pain so I'm not staying long. I'll catch up with everyone tomorrow and this weekend. Since the net went down I had to resort to cleaning things out and packing some more stuff. I'm getting a lot done, but I've got a long way to go yet. Project for next week. G'Night!

All together now... OUCH. I'm sitting here at work waiting for my pain pill to kick in. I stood in the shower this morning and had myself a good cry, mostly from the frustration of being in constant pain. I felt a lot better emotionally after the cry. I'm dragging ass, but I'm thankful I was able to make it into work. At least the pain has gotten a little better this week, so I can come to work. Thanks again to everyone for their concern and well wishes, you make it so much easier to get through the day. I think they're gonna start calling the way I walk the "Karen Shuffle" LOL!! I feel like such a goof, but I am a goof and that is something we all know. ;-) I got really irritated at a guy this morning while waiting to get through the gate. He had to merge in front of me then further down the way they opened another lane (which they should have done 20 minutes earlier in my opinion!) so he decided he would hold up traffic and merge back into the right lane. As I passed him, I called him a f*cking idiot and from the gasp on his face, he could read lips. See, that bitch in me slips out on occasion *snicker* I best get busy, have lots to do today. Happy Thursday everyone!!!!!!!!!!

My day and mood have much improved... dunno what my problem was earlier but it soon went away. I got a lot of work done, and then went to lunch with my good friend Linda. We went Mexican, so I was able to have cheese enchiladas, cha-cha-cha... no wonder my mood improved ;-) they always make me happy. I came back to the office, and then Shanae and I drove over to our "new" location to check out our work areas. They're definitely smaller cubicals, and I'll be in a 4-cubical space with Greg and the Timster. There's an extra cubical which Debi and I will share since she and I both need extra space. Debi will be diretly over the wall from me - she's such a sweetie. I'm going to be sad to leave this building and a few people behind. Linda, Nancy, Bri, Adrian, and sexy Joe and Russ will have to stay here. But I'm glad to leave that weird Mike guy behind and some other dorks *snicker*. Oooo! I have a meeting! Gotta run! I hope everyone is having a good Hump Day!

Oh man, I need a major attitude adjustment today. I'm being a bitch from hell, so I'll post later when I can be nice.

I've had quite the day so far. I got up, took a pain pill (and ate a cereal bar), took a shower, barfed, attempted to go to work, as I was headed out the door, I got really dizzy so I set my stuff down, and went over by the kitchen table to sit down and next thing I knew, I was on the floor next to the table. I'd passed out. Could have been a bug, could have been not enough on my tummy for the pain pill, who knows. I called for my Mom, she helped me downstairs and I got back in bed for a while. Slept for about 2.5 hours. Then work called and a couple things had come up, and I was feeling better so I got up and came into work. As I was leaving the garage (picture this: I back my car into the garage and the other half next to my passenger side is full of my sister's furniture and shit) something fell behind me. I didn't think much of it, and just pushed the garage door shut and left. About 4 miles down the road, sitting at a stop light, a lady next to me honked her horn and told me I had something on my rear tire. I looked in my mirror and it appeared to be a hanger and a pair of pants! LMFAO! I got through the light and pulled over. There, I found not one, but FIVE pairs of pants. The main hanger was caught on the bolt of my mud flap and all the other hangers were attached to the main hanger. Mud splattered all over these pants, and one pair that was on the bottom had quite a bit of road rash! I'm guessing they are Ellis' dress pants. *snicker* Just then, my Dad called me on my cell and told me that I may be dragging something. I started to giggle. I explained that I was just unhooking the pants. I guess Ellis had gotten into something over the weekend and not done a very good job of putting it away or letting the clothes fall on my car (grrr). What a dork. I hope he didn't like the pants very well...... *snicker* I really can't stop giggling about it. Me thinks he's gonna have a shit fit, but its his own fault. Anyway - I'm here at work and doing OK so I'll stay the rest of the day. My boss is here since his trip back to Boston was cancelled due to the bad, bad, bad weather. He's been traveling since the first part of Feb and will be until the first week in March, so he definitely deserves a break. I walked into the building and was stopped by my group having a staff meeting. I'm glad I got here in time, it was to discuss the upcoming move. I just finished taking care of the things that came up, and now I need to start cleaning up my desk - looks like a tornado hit it. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Oh Happy Day! Mom has just got back from the pharmacy with my pain meds. I just love my RA doc, he gave me 100 pills (these are mild since I can't take the strong ones). He doesn't mess around like my general doc only giving me a few pills. I still will take them only when I need them, but at least I don't have to worry about running out for a while.

OMG - I just got an e-mail from that Bryan guy. Its almost been 2 weeks since I'd heard from him, not really caring whether I heard from him or not... then I get this shit: "Hi Karen Sorry I haven't wrtten for a while, I have been a little busy, but I saw your e- on the frame of my comp. screen and I had such a boring fricking day aside from watching the Daytona 500 on tv. I thought what the heck, I will drop you a line. You never really said what kind of health problems you were having and the question popped into my head, "I wonder if she is in a motherly way", "has a bun in the oven", "Expecting". Well, congrats if so, if not, sorry, just a thought, you know. Well, I am probably clear the hell out in left field, and I hope you will forgive me if it seems prying or that I don't have any idea what the hell I am talking about. Ok, with that out there, I will just let you go now. Bryan" I'm rather pissed that he would even ask such a question - but I can't help but laugh! What a complete dork this man is! I'll have to compose a really great response... my brain is a bit muddled but has lots of things I want to say to him! ;-) I'll try to be nice... *snicker*

I fully intended to post this last night so the birthday girl could see it first thing this morning, but I had a brain fart. Nothing unusual there ;-) Its my dear friend Fluffy Muppet's birthday today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So... uh hum... without further ado... (imagine me singing this in the most beautiful voice imaginable, nothing like my real voice which is like fingernails on a chalk board). Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Emma..... Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Lots of love, Karen

Question of the Week by Sara All about S-E-X (Ok, without telling all) Is there anything you have regretted doing sexually? And is there anything you are happy you tried, as you are surprised that you liked it? Yup, one thing... back door action. Its an exit only thank you very much. Won't try that again. There are lots of other things I want (no S&M etc., just fuuuunnn things) to try but need to find a sexy man to do them with *snicker*.

OMG I'm getting so tired of being in so much pain. I woke up this morning and could hardly move. I had decided to just have my Mom take me to the emergency room - not sure what they could do, but I needed something. So I talked to her and she suggested I call my doc first and see what he wanted me to do. He called me back (through his service) and I told him how bad things were still - and seemed to be getting worse on a lot of days. There aren't any quick fixes he can give me, because I'm allergic to the predisone and cortisone. I've just got to ride it out still in hopes things will get better in the next few days. He told me to increase my anti-inflammatory and he's calling me in more pain meds tomorrow because my pharmacy is closed today. I have 3 of these precious pain pills left, they better get me through until tomorrow morning or you all may hear my screams. tee hee Not that the pain pills do a lot of good, they're mild ones cuz the stronger ones make me sick. Aren't I just a difficult patient?! So, not much on the agenda today! I'm forced once again to be a royal bum. I watched Sweet Home Alabama last night - such a good movie, and I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding once again this morning. I'm so glad tomorrow is a holiday and I don't have to go to work!

I'm being such a bum today! I'm still in quite a bit of pain (but not as bad as Wednesday!) - so I'm not up for a lot. The most ambitious I got was to take a shower... a looooong HOT shower. It felt so good! I just ate lunch, and now I'm thinking of taking a nap. What is everyone else up to today?

I had a pretty good day. I started off by getting my cleaning done (nothing too major though) and then took a small cat nap before showering and heading off to run my errands and go to the dentist. When I was at the dentist, I saw Kelly one of the hygientists I used to work with. My usual hygientist Annette just had a baby (YAY). It was so great to see Kelly - she's so great. Anyway, as I opened my mouth she commented on how beautiful my mouth and smile was. She said "Its not fair that Annette hogs you all to herself." LOL! I told her I didn't want anyone fighting over me and she said "I'm going to fight her on this." So I said they can share me! I'll see Annette next time, and the Kelly the time after that. Made me feel really good! I've had so much work done in the past - of course I take good care of my mouth! I passed 100% on my flossing (no bleeding when probed) and I think this is the 8th time in a row for that, I should get a prize I think! Anyway, I have a tooth that's been bothering me, sensitive to heat. This means nerve problems. Its been going on for about 3 weeks now, so I had them take an x-ray of it. It happens to be a tooth that I've already had a root canal done back in 1986! Looong time ago. The x-ray looked fine. Its not pressure sensitive, not keeping me up at night, etc., just shoots pain when I eat something hot or warm. I was talking to the dentist about what it could be, and we decided this was probably linked to my RA. The tooth started bugging me about 3 weeks ago, when the bad flare ups started and my jaw has flared right by the tooth. So, we're going to watch it for now. Its so crazy all the stuff that can go on with RA and when your immune system is wacked. I came home, picked Mom up and we went to lunch, both of us were craving Mexican so of course we both had cheese enchiladas, cha, cha, cha. Then we headed for Sams where I spent a lot of money, but was able to get quite a bit. Both of us were pretty done in by the time we got home. I'm pretty tired now, but feeling pretty good. I'm going to watch Coupling and then one of my new DVDs that I bought. Can't decide between Sweet Home Alabama and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Decisions, decisions.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I'm soooooooooo glad its Friday! Woohoo! Monday is a holiday so a 4-day weekend! Taking things nice and slow this morning, still in quite a bit of pain, but each day is getting better. I've got to do some cleaning, run a couple quick errands, go to the dentist, then if I'm still alive by then, I'll take Mom to lunch, then go to Sam's Club to get a few things. My State tax refund arrived yesterday, so I told Mom I'd buy some groceries to help her out. Its such a drain on Mom and Dad having Kathy and Ellis here, they eat like pigs. They do get food stamps, but they buy outrageous things so the money doesn't last very long - maybe a week at the most. So Mom ends up feeding them for the other 3 weeks of the month. My Mom totally cracked me up the other day. She got home from seeing to J Dee's surgery and came downstairs to check on me. She was giggling. I asked her what she was giggling about and she told me that Ellis was upstairs and could hardly stand up because he had hemorhhoids so bad. So we both started giggling! She's usually so sympathetic so it was great to see her laughing at the pain-in-the-ass named Ellis. I had fantasies of telling him the pain in his ass is what he puts us through every day... but alas, it was just a fantasy. I don't even acknowledge the man. Later that day I went upstairs to get some ice water and he was walking through the kitchen (in pain!) and I started giggling again, and Mom gave me a wink. I must be off now... gotta get this stiff body of mine moving. Have a great Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One hour left to go and then I can go home! I made it all day at work, YAY! I've done pretty well, I'm still hobbling about, but I stay sitting at my desk the majority of the time anyway. I hope I'm on the upswing of things now, and won't have another bad flare up like this ever again. My friend Nicole just sent me a clip of a SNL sketch with Robert DeNiro. The sketch was about terrorists that were reported by high school and college students. The names of these so-called terrorists were just a kill - "I Bin Pharteen" was one that stuck with me, and two of the lines was "We've tracked his scent" and "He's a silent but deadly killer" I do not now how Robert DeNiro kept a straight face through that sketch. I thought I'd bust up laughing. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and my cube mate wondered if I'd taken too many pain pills. I've burned this sketch on a CD and am taking it home to watch it again! So damn funny! Well, that's all for now... thanks again everyone for your well wishes, I know they are behind me getting better!

Whew... I made it into work. Not sure how long I'm gonna stay, but I'm here for now. I felt so much better when I left the house than when I got out of my car and walked into the building. I'm sure the cold, damp weather had a lot to do with it. I've taken a pain pill so hopefully it will kick in soon and give me some relief. I had such a lovely hot shower this morning! I actually got up 10 mins earlier so I could spend more time in the shower. Another shower is sure sounding good about now. ;-) 3 for Thursday questions are up! Go play along! Gotta get to work, and filter through my e-mail and get some things that have to be done. Have a great day everyone!

I read that Maria was home today too, feeling rotten so I decided to call her. I'm so glad I did. She's amazing and so fun to talk to. She totally understands how awful it is to have RA. We laughed and chatted for over an hour, and it felt like we were long lost friends. Thanks, Maria! You really made my day! Thank you so much to everyone who left me comments, I could feel your good healing vibes and you all perked up my spirits. I spent most of the day in my recliner and watched some fun old movies. Dennis the Menace (with Walter Matheau), Goonies, and Grumpier Old Men. I took a few cat naps. I'm feeling a bit better now, but still taking pain pills. I also put Tiger Balm on the joints that hurt the worst and let me tell you, I smell so good. LOL!!! I smell up any room I walk into. But, it helps so that's the important thing. Its not like there's a sexy guy with me to smell really good for. On that note, someone sent me an article not to long ago that said sex helps ease arthritis pain for up to 8 hours. Damn - gotta get me some of that! *snicker* Who knows, it could be a miracle cure for me if it was good enough, ya never know. My brother's surgery went really great! He's home now and resting. It will be so good to see him not in pain, poor guy really went through a lot with his back. I'm so glad that we live in this day and age with all the medical advances. Hopefully one day they'll have a cure for all diseases... and I for one would be incredibly grateful if they'd figure out how to deal with autoimmune diseases. ;-) I'm off now to visit as many people as I can before I go to bed! G'Night!

I had to stay home from work today. I am just in too much pain and figured there was no way I could even get dressed let alone drive to work. I'm taking pain pills (WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) that aren't doing so much for the pain, but making me sleepy and feeling goofy (goofier than normal, so you know its got to be pretty goofy). I'm staying in my recliner and going to watch movies and cat nap all day. I'll try and move around as much as I can to keep my joints moving so they'll hurt less. My parents went to Wyoming where my bro J Dee is having some back surgery. Its about a 2 hr drive, so they'll be gone most the day. J Dee has had a lot of problems with his lower back, he's got some cysts that they've drained several times and had other treatments but they're not working. The orthopedic surgeons around here tell him he needs that section of his back fused, and he's really too young to have to go to that extreme. So, he found a neuro surgeon in Wyoming and got his opinion. This doc is going to go in and clean out the cysts and do a few things and this should buy J Dee a few more years hopefully, before he has to have the fusing done. I sure hope this helps him - he's always in so much pain. Anyway, before Mom left, she came to check on me and said that Kathy had said that if I needed anything to let her know. Hmmm... shocker. Then just a few minutes ago, Kathy called me to tell me she was going out and asked if she could get me anything. Hmmm... I know I was awake so it couldn't have been a dream... not used to this Kathy. I hope its a sign of good changes, but I can't really bring myself to believe in it quite yet. I'm very leary of her because she turns on you in a snap. I should just appreciate the thought and leave it be. Here's a funny pic that Colin found that goes along with the other pic from yesterday.
Have a great Hump Day *snicker*!

This morning, I was off to a bad start. I'd had a bad night because both my shoulders flared and I was in a lot of pain. I made myself get up and come to work - cussing and being ornery beyond belief. I get into work and had some trouble with the color printer - which turned out to be PowerPoint problem, not the printer. After fighting with it for 45 mins, I converted the file to PDF and voila - it worked fine. Then I checked my e-mail and got an message from Maria. After a few sweet words from her, I had tears in my eyes and my whole attitude changed in an instant. Maria is an incredibly sweet lady - if you don't know her, go and read her blog. She's so strong and stays incredibly positive about life and challenges. I will get through my day now. I may be in pain, but there's a lot of positive things in my life and I need to concentrate on those and let the pain run its course. I just want to add that I have so many supportive people in my life and I thank you all. You all make life easier to deal with and a lot more fun! On a totally different subject... this is something that really made me laugh... woohoo! I'm surprised the snow isn't melting.
Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

First off - I want to announce that my good buddy Colin has returned from his trip to New Mexico! YAHOOO! Welcome back, I sure missed you! I'm feeling quite popular today at work so far. I came into work to find 45 e-mails in my inbox. All of them work related ;-) One dork wrote and asked me if I could help his son (who is an excelled student that wants to help with engineering in the world of defense when he grows up) get a job. Ummm... well. NO. We're not the gov't personnel dept., sorry. I was nice and wrote him back a very polite note. I guess I'm the lucky one who gets these dumb questions because my name and e-mail is on our main website and it does say "for all other questions, please contact Karen...at..." but I think some people are just too dumb to realize the "other questions" mean "other valid questions about our organization". I've got lots to do today, but am not totally swamped so that's a nice feeling for a Monday. Have a great day everyone!

I watched Windtalkers last night and it was really good. Very violent and bloody, but good. Nicholas Cage is very yummy. I watched The Sum of All Fears today and I thought it was a really good movie too - really keeps ya on the edge of your seat. Then this afternoon I watched a movie I'd taped a couple of weeks ago - Dragonfly with Kevin Costner (yuummmyy) which was a great movie - sad and a bit spooky but very good. Besides laundry and bloghopping a bit, that's pretty much all I've done today! I didn't even dry my hair after I showered, just let it go curly. I look like a beast woman. LOL! My sister saw me and told me how cute my hair looked... cough, cough... wonder what she thinks she's going to accomplish by trying to kiss my ass?! I got a good chuckle out of it at any rate. Question of the week by Sara Are you in love? If not, have you ever been? What are your plans for the day of love? Do you believe in love at first sight? Is there a really cool story about how you met your current or a past love? No, I'm not in love...no, haven't really been in love. I don't have any plans for the day of love cuz I don't have a love. Yes, I believe in love at first sight!! No... no cool story. I know - very sad, pathetic and pretty much non-existant is my love life. ;-) *sigh* Its taken me a long time to be ready for love, so I know its just a matter of time.

OMG - does the thought of pepperoni pasta in a can make anyone else sick? I just saw a commercial for Chef Boyardee's latest thing and I gotta say - bluuueerrgggh. I rented some DVDs yesterday. So far I've watched: The Banger Sisters - was OK but I was really disappointed. I thought it would have been more zany and funny. Murder by Numbers - was really good. Good story line and suspensful. Sandra Bullock did a good job. Showtime - was OK. I giggled a few times. It took me 3 times to see the entire movie, I kept falling asleep. Not sure if it was the movie or me being on pain pills. tee hee Left to watch: Windtalkers and The Sum of All Fears.

Agenda for today: TV, naps and a little bloghopping. I hope everyone has a good Saturday!

I forgot to mention that I joined the forum Sis-2-Sis that Sara set up. I think it will be a lot of fun. She's organizing a kitchen towel exchange and will have more exchanges in the future. Come and join, I'm sure it will be a lot of fun for us all! Its 10 frickin' degrees this morning. We are definitely getting our winter now, I knew it was gonna hit hard once it hit. The wind blew a lot last night. Brrr! I woke up about 3 am and had to take a pain pill, my left wrist flared and could hardly move my hands at all. As I was waiting for the pain pill to kick in, I decided to watch Ya Ya again - just love that show. A little while later, I was about to drift off when my cat darted up on the bed and started hissing and growling at something in my window well. I looked closer and it was a cat. Thank God. I shined a flashlight on the cat and it jumped out and Ashley settled down. Whew. At first, I thought it may have been a barn rat or something stuck down in there. A barn rat did get stuck down there once and it took two pitch forks to kill the SOB (my Dad to the rescue!). It had claws and teeth bigger than my cat and it was tearing through my screen trying to get in. Euurgghh. So since then, I've been so jumpy about what gets down in there. I'm not sure what I'm going to do today, I may just be forced to be a bum and worry about my cleaning later. Kinda hard to even change the sheets on my bed since I can't even grab the blankets without pain. I'm thinking of going and renting some DVDs! That way I will be a good girl and rest. My right hand can grasp the remote just fine. tee hee Anyhoo... I'm off! Have a great Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY! My weekend is here. Whew, what a day. I managed to get everything done on my list to do! What a great feeling, nothing major hanging over my head on Monday. Wow, a Monday without a zillion things to do... unless something hits over the weekend. I had a great lunch with my friends today and thoroughly enjoyed the Mexican food. Savored every bite. I have 1 enchilada and half my rice and beans left for a treat tomorrow! Its funny, with how sick I've been, my stomach has really shrunk. I didn't eat a lot before, but now I can only eat half of what I did. But that's OK... will make it easier for more weight loss- but in a healthy way. I'm still in no way starving. My body is also starting to retain food better and I'm getting my strength back. We got the official word that we have to move offices (buildings actually!) in March. We'll move into one end of the building temporarily until the other end is finished with the remodeling. The powers that be want us out of our current building by the end of March. I have soooo much shit I've got to sort through, and hopefully can throw away a lot to make the move easier. They've shown a seating chart and I'm in a cubical with six seats in it. Two seats are sectioned off, and four are together. Tim, Greg and I will be together in a four and there's an empty seat so I'm hoping I can use that for storage because with all the customer service stuff and contract documentation, I'll need it. I came home today and got a lovely, one of a kind, wonderful birthday card from Maggie! YAY! Its so pretty and she made it just for me. Makes me feel very special. Thank you, thank you, thank you Maggie! I love it! Well, I'm beat... I'll read a couple more blogs and then I'm headed for bed! TTFN!

It is sooooooo cold outside! I about froze walking from the parking lot into my building. Its 18 with a wind chill so cold that even with a bra, sweater and heavy coat, I bet my nips could cut glass. Damn! I was only out there for about 4 minutes, so I feel so bad for the guards at the gate who have to stand out in this. Poor guys! Gonna be another crazy day here today, I've got lots to do, so I best get to it! Have a fantastic day everyone! 3 for Thursday is up if you'd like to play! My answers are on my Meme site.

Where have the past few days gone?! It seems like they've passed in a blurr because I've had so much going on. I know I've missed so much in everyone's blogs too, I hate it when I get behind! I should be able to get caught up this weekend. Tomorrow is my Friday - ! I'm going out with a couple of old friends for lunch to Fiesta Guadalarja - my FAV Mexican restaurant. Cha, cha, cha. I'm soooo craving Cheese Enchiladas! I'm tired of bland food - I want some chips, salsa and some cheese and that yummy sauce, I want rice, I want beans! I'll bring half of it home for lunch another day. That works. I had to get up in the middle of the night to take a pain pill cuz my joints hurt so bad. I felt quite a lot better by the time I woke up, but being that my head was fuzzy still, I didn't want to drive. It had also snowed then dropped 20 degrees below freezing, soooo I thought it best to stay put. I had my financial files at home with me anyway, so I worked here until my RA doc appt, then went into the office after that. Let's just say my RA doc was less than pleased with my joints, but given the hell of a month I had, he wasn't surprised. He was so not happy that the gastro doc gave me that Q stuff to help battle the stomach probs. It most likely did take all the RA meds out of my system, hence all the problems I'm having now... OR the other part could be that I'm having a flare of the different type of arthritis that comes with the ulcerative colitis. Its hard to say really. So anyway, I may have to be taken off the clinical trial because of the UC and treated with something else that could help both. That would be OK with me, as long as its not the $4000 per treatment drug. I know health is important - but when it puts me more in the poor house, then what do I do?! OK, enough about my health stuff! I got another reply from Bryan. In the e-mail I sent to him, I mentioned my new DVD player. He said that he'd gotten one for Xmas and hasn't hooked it up yet. Hmmm... is this a bad sign? Procrastinator of FUN stuff? That could be bad. Anyway, he said that he'd like to get some DVDs and come to my house and watch them with me. Hmmm... I dunno about that... the DVD player is in my bedroom. I'm sure he doesn't know that... and in another other circumstances (like if I were really attracted to him!) I'd say woohoo and cum on baby. But I just don't like him in that way. He's a sweet guy, but he doesn't project testosterone at all. Doesn't make my heart go boom boom and don't get a flutter in my tummy when I hear from him. Doesn't give me icky panties at the thought of just kissing him *snicker*. But, I told him I'd talk to him and see where it goes.

Whew... its been a long day! Mom took me to get my scope done, and when we got there, the doc was behind, so we waited about an hour and a half until I got called back. Everything went fine though. I went to la-la land and I woke up and it was all over with. There was nothing that was complicating the ulcerative colitis which is GOOD. They did find a small hiatle (sp?) hernia (doesn't require any treatment at this time), and as they suspected scar tissue and narrowing of my esophagus caused by acid reflux. So, I now join in the ranks of those who take that little purple pill. At least its purple... I like purple. LOL! Yeah, I guess I'm still a bit loopy from the la-la land drugs. The doc stretched my esophagus and got rid of the scar tissue, so my throat is a bit sore is all. No biggy. I ate a grilled cheese sandwich when I got home... that was a mistake. Even though I took small bites and chewed well, it hurt going down. I will have SOUP for dinner. It was snowing like mad the whole time I was there, and on the way home. We had to take my car because Dad needed his, and of course my sister had my Mom's. It wasn't a big deal for me to drive to the doc office, but Mom had to drive it home. What a riot that was! Its been a lot of years since she's driven a stick-shift, let alone in the snow! We eventually made it to the pharmacy, then home. I think Mom's nerves were more frazzled by the drive than I was! LOL! I don't do very well with someone else driving my car. It just feels wrong to sit in the passenger seat in my car. Anyhoo... I got home about 2 hrs ago, and watched Ice Age! I LOVED that movie! I best be off now, back to bed I go...

I forgot to say that I did write Bryan back, and told him that I'd like to start talking to him again, and see where it goes from there. I got an e-mail from him this morning saying that he'd really like that, and was so happy that I didn't tell him to go to hell! LOL!! So, we'll see how it goes.

I watched my very first movie on my DVD last night - "A Walk to Remember". OMG - what a good movie! It looked like a total "teen" movie, but it was deeper than that. Such a great story and soooo sad. I cried big time at the end. I bought "Ice Age" last night too. I wanted to get "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" but will have to wait until Feb 11. I'll watch Ice Age after I get home from my test this afternoon. My friend Robin was singing me her scope song yesterday. "Karen is taking it down the throat, do dah, do dah... She cracks me up! Then I added another verse "She's already taken it up the butt, oh do dah day." *snicker* I'm working from home today, until I go in for my test, so I best get at it! I have my written report to do, then start on my financials. Have a great day everyone!

I knew I could depend on all of you for good advice! I will write him back and see what happens - no promises, just start talking again and see where it goes. My mind and heart weren't really in a good place when we went out either and he deserves to know that. Thanks all! :-) Wow, today is going to be a crazy day. I just looooove Mondays anyway (UGH!). I've got so much to do, but will take one thing at a time and see how far I get. I've got things that absolutely HAVE to get done, so I'll do those first. Hope everyone has a great day!! P.S. I got a DVD player for my b-day!!!!!!!!!! My family all gave it to me! YAY!!!

Oh bugger! I just got an e-mail from a guy. Bryan to be exact. Last July/August I went out with him a couple of times but he wrote me via e-mail and told me he thought that it would be best that we didn't see each other any more, and had little doubt that I felt the same. He is such a nice guy - but "IT" just wasn't there. I was actually soooo relieved that he broke things off. Here's his e-mail from today... anyone have any ADVICE??? "Hi Karen, I I know it has been a while since I have talked to you, and it is probably stupid, but. I came up to ogden and met you a few times and we went to a few movies. Then never ended up seeing you too much after that. I feel like I had a lot of things going on in my life, and I really regret how it messed us up getting to know each other. I realize a fair amount of time has passed since I have contacted you last and my chances you not being serious w/ someone or married are probably against me, but I figured the only way to know for sure is to just write you and find out. It has taken me a while but I feel like I have gotten my head a lot straighter and will make a lot better date then I did then. I know this is probably a long shot, but if you are interested at all in letting me see you again sometime I would jump at the chance. If not, I of course understand, but I hope you at least consider if there are not any of the obvious conditions that can have occured w/ you over time. Bryan"

Sara made me this beautiful picture for my birthday!! So sweet!!!!!!

Question of the Week Tragedies Tragedies change our lives in many ways. Have you undergone a different perspective of the world when a global tragedy happens? When something happens in the USA and you live in another country, do you feel guilty, sad, grateful? When something happens in another country and you live in the USA, do you feel guilty, sad, grateful? Does the tragedy change you, your outlook on life, the way you live your day-to-day life? I feel sad that things happen in other countries and feel grateful those things aren't happening here. Its hard not to let tragedies change our lives. Sure, we get over the shock of things and return to our day-to-day lives, but I think we're changed deep down, we learn to appreciate what we have more each day.

Bring on the spankings! LOL!! Once again I am overwhelmed!!! Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! Its been a great day so far and has the makings for a terrific birthday... almost makes me forget I'm getting OLDER! I was so excited to get into my e-mail and see all the fun stuff waiting there for me. For the cards/gifts/calls - thank you to Colin, Emma and Pete, Kat, Sara, Jacky & Bob, Maria, Soul, Maggie, Ked, CJ, Mollie and Tenika!! Last night I was bad and opened the videos that Emma and Pete sent me. *snicker* I couldn't wait and wanted something to watch. They got me the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and Kindergarten Cop. YAY! I watched both last night, and watched Ya Ya again this morning already. It was so nice to see Kindergarten Cop without all the commericals too, its been one of my fav movies but I've never been able to catch it on any channel but those with commericals. Favorite line from that movie from the cutest little kid, "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." It cracks me up everytime the kid says it.

I decided to go to a movie with Mom and do a little shopping with my gift certifcates. Dad was supposed to come too, but my lovely sister Kathy was supposed to be home by 10am so SHE could take care of HER daughter. Well, 11:30 came and she still wasn't home, so Dad opted to stay home and tend the baby while Mom and I went to the movie. We went to see Evelyn with Pierce Brosnan and Aidan Quinn (both yummmmy!). It was a true story about a Irish man who's wife left him with 3 children, and he was without a job so the Church and State of Ireland took the children away from him, and his fight to get them back. What a tear jerker at times, but such a good movie. After the movie, we called Dad to see if he wanted to go shopping, but alas Kathy still not home. So Mom and I went to one of her fav book stores then we went to the mall for me. I got a pair of shoes as an addition to whatever else Mom and Dad are getting me, then with my gift certificates, I got some lovely shower gel and lotions from Victoria's Secret and two sweaters with my other GC from Christopher & Banks. YAY! Then I got home and had a package from Ked with a really pretty picture/saying that is purple. Its soooo pretty and I love it! I called her and thanked her and we chatted for a bit. I'm pooped right out though now that I'm home! I'm in for the night! LOL!! Such a party girl these days... I hope everyone is having a great weekend! Thanks for all the b-day wishes!!! The plan for tomorrow is to veg out as much as possible before all the family comes over for dinner and cheesecake. Mom is making me a cheesecake! Yuuuuummmm. I can't wait! She's making it plain, then we'll drizzle carmel over it. Oh, I will be in heaven for sure. I don't say this enough - I've got the best parents in the world!

In Memorium of the Space Shuttle Challenger Crew. I'm so saddened by this, and my heart goes out to them and their families.