OK - today is not gonna be quite so naughty... (you're welcome or I'm sorry, which ever fits) It was a crazy day at work, I got lots done, but nothing exciting. One of my jobs was made easier by having to get bigger binders for some workshop materials - yes, in some cases, size does matter and is a benefit. ;-) We've been using 1 inch, but now have moved to 1.5 inch to accommodate the growing materials that go inside. Whew. Now stuffing the view spines isn't such a big pain in the ass. I now don't have to cut the spines within a tiny microscopic bit of the spine, I can just cut right down the middle of the two spines and voila - stuff away. Linda came by while I was stuffing the spine down into one of the edges of a binder and she told me I looked very skilled and knew what I was doing stuffing that spine down in the hole. We got a giggle out of that... Earlier, I yelled to my boss over the cubical wall "Hey, Tim... stuffing these bigger ones is so much easier..." then realized I had better say "BINDERS" really quick or else someone might think I was having some fun in my cubie. ;-) I don't know what's gotten in to Jeff... he's been such a shit the past 3 weeks - didn't send ONE e-mail to me while I was in England (not even in response to the ones I sent him), then after I got back, he was excited to hear about my trip, then barely talked to me since then. I was getting so pissed off and hurt... could feel something was wrong - or he was avoiding/ignoring me. So, over the weekend I really set it to him (while we talked briefly) and asked him WTF was going on... he said "I've just been really busy." Right. Anyway.. then finally Monday night he actually took 15 minutes and talked to me. I think he's avoiding making the decision of having me come out to meet him (which he said we'd discuss after I got back from England). He tells me he's ready to meet me, fine. Let's meet... then he gets scared (??) and then says "I don't know if we'll ever meet, my life is just too crazy right now." I told him that life will always be crazy, but we need to take chances and give ourselves a break (he agreed with me). Yeah, the guy is busy - he works 2 jobs and deals with a lot, but we're all busy too. I always make time for him, but he suddenly wasn't doing the same. So... I still don't know if we'll meet or at this point if I'm willing to haul my ass out to Indiana to meet him if he's gonna act like this. I don't want him coming here when we first meet, my family will interfere and I want to see if there could *really* be something before we meet families. Now all of the sudden, he's gone back to the old Jeff - talking to me in the mornings after he gets off work, then again in the evenings... hmmm... don't know what's up with that, maybe he sensed that I was so close to being totally fed up. Who knows... I'll enjoy it for now, but I will also watch my heart and figure out if I really want things to go further. If he stalls much longer, I'm not waiting - I'll move on. I've also decided I won't let my relationship with him keeping me from seeing others (not like I have any offers!) until it moves to a higher level. I'm NOT going to settle for being treated like shit and taken for granted. I've come too far to go back to that kind of treatment. I'm crazy about him and I've probably treated him better than any woman in his life - even though we're 1500 miles apart. Maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with a woman treating him nice?? Its really hard for him to take compliments... maybe that's a big key to this mystery named Jeff... hmmm.... MEN. ;-)