Tuesday, June 24

Warning: Rant and women stuff ahead! My life is just full of good timing lately. Its a damn good thing I had an appt with my gyno yesterday. She gave me lots of interesting news. She was quite dismayed about all the health problems I've had this year and the blood clot really is complicating things. I'm also quite PISSED at my team of doctors for not disclosing, thinking, or letting me know the risks of the blood clot could have on my body - my entire body. Being on blood thinners, if I were to have a period (which would have been in a matter of days!!!!!!!!!!), I could hemorrhage. Not a good thing. So Dr Wheeler put me on new pills and I'm not to have a period until I'm off the blood thinners (that I'm not too upset about, tee hee). When I'm off the blood thinners, no more birth control pills for me. Lovely. I've been on birth control pills for years for mostly medical reasons and I don't want to go back to the severe cramps, etc., grrrr, but this is my life and with the severity of the blood clot, I don't have a choice. I don't want more blood clots forming. With my history of endometriosis and other damage that was done while I was younger, I was told I'd probably never have kids. OK, I've lived with that and am at peace with it, and I've never really been in a position to have any either. Dr W told me that if I were to get pregnant, by chance, it could kill me because of the blood clots. It just seemed so final and hit me like a ton of bricks. So... I need to think about my options there. I'm not making any hasty decisions for now though since I'm not even seeing a man right now. Even though I do monthly breast exams, she found a lump in very bottom of my right breast. I've had a history of fybroids so that's probably all it is, but I'm having an ultrasound to be sure. I'm not messing around. If its a fybroid they'll watch it, and after I'm off the blood thinners I'll probably have it removed like I did the others I've had. I guess I'm having a Karen's health pity party. I was so upset on my way home from Salt Lake last night, my eyes kept tearing up. When I got home, my Mom was standing in the kitchen and I just broke down. I felt better after her hugs and support but honestly, I am so tired of having so many health problems, just when I think I've got a handle on things, something else crops up. I'm tired. So tired. I know I need to keep things in perspective - there are so many people out there worse off than I am... and I'm sure by the end of today I'll feel much better, just gotta work through these feelings. I am so grateful that I do have such good doctors - even though the other doctors didn't even mention anything about the potential complications. It shows that there are definite problems with the health care system, all have their own "specialties" and its up to us, the patients to make sure ALL the doctors know all of your history and are kept up to date on everything. Don't take your health for granted.