Saturday, June 14

Am I a bitch? I am just so fed up with my sister Kathy and her husband Ellis that I've got to let my frustrations out somehow. About a month ago, I got into the freezer to get out a box of my mini pizzas only to find the box totally empty. I'd only eaten about 4 out of the 12. I was furious. Ellis had gotten into them and eaten them all. I never said anything to Kathy and Ellis but I guess Mom did. Last night, Kathy all of the sudden asked me what I'd like her to buy me to replace the pizzas that Ellis ate. I replied, "Nothing. I hope he choked on them." and I walked off. I know it wasn't nice to say, but its how I felt. I'm sick and tired of walking on egg shells, not saying what I really feel and letting the anger and frustration build up inside of me. Mom and Dad's phone just rang at 6:30 am and it was Ellis' mother calling from Ohio trying to find him. He's of course out with his friends - which is OK with me, life is better without him in this house. I told Mom I wished his mother would send Ellis a bus ticket home to get rid of him. I shouldn't have said anything, it just came out. Now Mom told me that Kathy felt sooooo bad last night after I said what I did about the pizzas (ahhhh, pity!). I say tough shit. She's got to know how Ellis is effecting all of us and we are so tired of him taking advantage of everyone. She needs to get rid of him, he's bringing her down. I absolutely hate what she's become. She used to be so successful (PhD in pharmacology!!!) until he came into her life. Now she's jobless and trying to get disability and has been for 2.5 years. She COULD work. She COULD take care of their daughter. But she's become this lazy, selfish, disgusting person. She doesn't take care of herself - I do believe she takes a shower about once every 3 days, never does her hair, never wears a bra, is seriously overweight. Yesterday she was diagnosed with diabetes. Surprise, surprise. She has been warned for over 2 years and now she's got it. It just gets better and better - one more thing for her to use as an excuse not to work, not to take care of her daughter. More goes onto Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad have been really tough on them lately, but they need to really get serious. Maybe the only thing that will snap them into being responsible and getting jobs is to threaten to take the baby away. That would be really hard on my parents, but that little girl deserves the best. She doesn't deserve the parents she has. If it weren't for my parents taking care of her, I'm sure social services would have taken her away by now. I can't understand how Kathy and Ellis can't look into her face and not want to give her the world. They're just too selfish I guess. I shouldn't let myself get upset because it effects my health, but its so hard not to let things get to me. I'd like to have my parents around for a few more years, and not have Kathy and Ellis effect their health and shorten their lives. Kathy boobs and whines to my Mom and other sister Susie that I never talk to her and she's "scared to talk to me." Well, she better be scared to talk to me because if she does talk to me, she's gonna get an earfull. I've kept my mouth shut for quiet a long time now, out of respect for my parents. They've asked me to stay out of things and let them handle things. Damn, its hard. OK, bitchfest is over. I hate being negative and having this anger inside of me. I do feel better having let some of it out. My goal for the rest of the day is to be positive and concentrate on the good things in life. I've got a lot to be thankful for. My family is wonderful and I've got such great friends. Enjoy your Saturday!!