Friday, November 15

Ya know what? I'm tired of feeling like shit. I'm tired of feeling like my world has caved in - some of it has granted, but I haven't. I'm strong and still here. I'm going to concentrate on making me happy and fuck what some people think I should be doing and how they view me. This is my life. I have a better view of my life than anyone. I know me better than anyone, and I know what's going to make me happy and have to figure out how I can go about it. I'm taking some ME time, damnit. The Jeff situation as well as what happened with a friend yesterday and the past week, aren't the only things that have been making me feel like shit. My health isn't the greatest and have been struggling the past couple of months, but hopefully that will change soon. I have an appt on Wednesday for preliminary tests and instructions (on how to give myself shots!) for the clincal trial I'm going to participate in. My home life isn't what I want, but I'm stuck here financially so I've just got to suck it up and deal with it the best I can. Maybe if my health improves I can get me a second job if I can find a good one to help with things. I'm worried about how I'm gonna do Christmas financially as well. The usual stresses... I don't know how families do it, I don't even have kids and I'm stressing out. Work has been nuts and feel overwhelmed some days, but its not a killer. I've got a great boss and he is patient and knows I can only do so much. I'm soooooo tired of feeling like shit... have I mentioned that?! I think I've hit a break through here. I can't say enough how much I appreciate the support of those who have been rocks for me the past week or so. All the great comments that people have left - really means a lot. I know sometimes its hard to find words of support, (as I have sometimes) but I know and feel the thought is behind it and its worth so much. Happy Friday everyone - and have a fantastic weekend!!!