Well, the day is HERE!!! I'm off to England. I'm so organized that I got ready a hour before I have to leave... oohhh... I've been fluttering about trying to find things to keep me busy... not much to do, so I'm watching M*A*S*H. Love that show. My mind is so full of thoughts of all the new things I'll be doing today... I can't think of much to say, so I'll just say Ta Ta For Now (TTFN)!!!!

Me thinks I’ve got everything done here at work that needs to be done… part of my duties will be done by a nice girl at work and will be in good hands. So, I don’t need to worry about things. Although will still have to check my e-mail and forward things on as needed. No big deal… and will charge for the time (minimum of 30 minutes is fair for my trouble) ;-) 2.5 hours left of work (as of now…) and just over 24 hours I’ll be at the airport getting my bags checked. YAY! Butterflies are starting to flutter around!! Way excited though to be on my adventure!! Hope I can sleep tonight! Thanks to Colin for your words about my journey today. Can't wait to meet you and D in Boston on my way home... what a nice way to end my vacation. :-) Just hope customs is quick (HAHAHA) so I can spend more time with you both. Had a funny thing happen last week that I forgot to blog about. I got a phone call from a guy Adrian in an office across the hall (where my buddy Linda works). Adrian asked me where I hid the rotten can of tuna fish in his office… I asked if it was Linda (that went right over his head) then he said, “No, it’s tuna-smelling…” *snicker* “or smells like a dead rat.” Then I asked if it was Brian just having a gas attack… no, wasn’t him either… He thought I was playing a joke on them by leaving some fowl smelling thing in their office when it was probably just their stinky garbage. He practically made me swear that I didn’t do anything. What a brilliant idea though – wish I would have done it. Maybe someday will have to try that when someone pisses me off – or just for the hell of it. There was a joke played here a few years back by a group of guys. They put a sardine in the mouthpiece of a man’s phone (back when you could unscrew the cap). This guy went for weeks smelling this awful fishy, horrid smell every time he got on the phone. He kept popping breath mints thinking it was his breath. About a year later, his phone quit working completely (sardine not the cause) and the phone technician found a sardine skeleton in it. How funny is that?! Another classic!! TTFN for now… I shall blog when I can about my adventures in England. Watch for all my new things I’m doing on the Something New site! The list will be long…

Time for Eight from the Eighties! 1) Are you under pressure? Yeah, got my high level of pressure some days... a lot of the time I put myself under pressure for no good reason - hard to explain. 2) Are you tuff enuff? Can be *very* tough when I have to be...like when someone is hurting someone I care about. I always surprise myself by just how tough I can be when the going gets rough even though I wanna crawl in a hole and hide. ;-) 3) Are you a material girl/boy? Nah, not really... don't get me wrong, having a lot of money and nice things would be great, but they can't make you happy. 4) Do you pump up the volume, pump up the volume, etc.? Hell yes! When a good song comes on, I crank it! 5) No, my first name ain't baby, it's... Karen. Nickname was Kammy growing up (Dad still calls me it occasionally), Mom calls me KB short for Karen Bean (can't remember why the bean). 6) I would die 4... Peanut butter... spread on J. *snicker* 7) I haven't ________ for the longest time. Let's not go there... 8) Ever get on the floor and do the New Kids dance? Sure thing... love to dance to the beat of those dorks. ;-)

I'm going nuts with the personality tests tonight :-) Fun!! Thanks to Kat for the link.

Find your emotion! [?]

Thanks to Ariel for the link :-)

You are 40% evil! [?]

You're more good than evil, but not by much. You've drank straight from the carton of milk in the refrigerator, and maybe kicked the neighbor's cat, but you're still good. Kinda.

Evil Quiz thanks to Fluffy Muppet for the link :-) For the record - I NEVER kicked the neighbor's cat! I admit I toilet papered their yard many, many times... but never kicked their cat.

Not too much happening today to blog about... I got up early, ate breakfast, worked out (like a good girl), showered, got my hair trimmed and blonded, came home, ate lunch, read my fav blogs... and now here I am. The rest of the day will be to sort out the corner that I've got most my things going to England. :-) Tomorrow is laundry day and will get my clothes packed. It may be early, but I'm anal... and they're gonna get wrinkled anyway so who cares. I got my suitcase out yesterday and put it on the couch and opened it up. Trying to envision what will need to go in there. My cat has this thing about suitcases and a lot of boxes... whenever they're present, means something is going to change (boxes) or someone will be leaving. Stresses her out, poor baby! She's following me around like a lost kitten today and was really upset that I went to get my hair done. She knows I'm getting ready to leave. OK - here I go! Gonna get busy.

Time for the Friday Five 1. What are your hobbies? I like to crochet doilies and afghans, read historical romance novels, watch TV and movies, and playing on the computer (blogging and e-mail). 2. Do you collect anything? Winnie the Pooh stuff, Pig figurines, Cat figurines, old bottles. 3. Is there a hobby you're interested in, but just don't have the time/money to do? I'd like to do more crafty things, and perhaps start my own business with some naughty little things I've made for friends for fun. Was going to start up the business at one point, but it fizzled out. 4. Have you ever turned a hobby into a moneymaking opportunity? No, not yet. Maybe some day... 5. Besides web-related stuff (burbs, rings, etc.), what clubs do you belong to? None.

Another CRAZY day... I'm soooo ready for this vacation, I can't even tell you. One more day of work (Monday) but it won't be too bad since most everyone (including my boss, etc.) will be at a conference all week, so I think there will be about 3 people other than myself there from my org. No one to say, "Hey Karen... can you do this... can you do that... I know your busy, but..." Now that my weekend is here, I'm winding down. Just had a conversation with my online man Jeff and will talk more on the phone in about an hour. Nice way to start my weekend. I will be spending the rest of the weekend cleaning, working out, PACKING and hopefully getting some sun if the weather cooperates. :-)

Today’s Pet Peeves 1. Stopping for gas, paying by credit card at the pump, and when it comes time to get your receipt, the monitor tells you to see cashier inside for receipt. Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of paying at the pump? So you don’t have to go inside to see the cashier??? 2. Drivers who don’t know how to merge onto the freeway. They go slow, not even speeding up to even close to freeway speeds. Duh. 3. For some strange reason, panties decide to crawl up your ass on one side… going down the freeway at 75 mph and can’t do anything about it. 4. Drivers who drive in the “fast” or “passing” lane the entire time, neither going “fast” or “passing” anyone. Others have to go around them and “pass” them. 5. Traffic lights that are on sensors, that turn green in the opposite direction with NO cars there. Unless they’re invisible. 6. Drivers who leave 3 – 4 car spaces between them and the car in front of them while sitting at the gate to be let in the base. Not even thinking that other cars behind them are waiting to get through the intersection. Come on people – think! Today’s Reasons to be Cheerful 1. Two work days left before England. 2. One day left before the weekend. 3. Five days before I actually leave for England. 4. Having Blogs to vent a bit. 5. Getting to work safely despite the idiot drivers. 6. New dress that has been hanging in my closet for a year that I couldn’t wear due to being a bit tight… losing poundage (hard work!!) and being able to wear it for the first time today. :-D

For all you men out there... I have a question. My friend saw me running around in my bare feet and she told me that it is sexually stimulating to a man to see a woman in her bare feet. Is this true????

Just call me a whirlwind. Another wild and crazy day today… now that it’s about time to go home, things are winding down and I finally feel like I can breathe again. I think I’m just stressing myself out – worrying about whether I’ll forget to do something. I had a huge list in my planner today and finished every bit of it, so I guess I’m allowed to take a break… I didn’t even take a lunch break, just ate my protein bar and drank my V-8 juice. I doubt I’ll be blogging when I get home since I intend to workout and I’ll be too tired by the time I get that done. So, consider me blogged for today ;-)

What a WILD day at work... I have 3 days of work left before England and I've got to really bust my butt to get stuff done before I head out. I forgot I had to get some workshop materials ready this week, so I killed a tree or two printing everything out (after finally getting the final files from my boss) and rushing it to Kinkos. When I get there, they tell me it won't be done until Fri night and I said "Noooo!!! I'm going to England... have to have it done first thing Thursday morning!!" So, the girl talked to her boss and got it all settled. Whew. Now, if all goes smoothly, then I'll be putting the materials in binders and shipping them off to the workshop location in Ohio. In the middle of all the printing, a guy brought around some wattage type monitors that we HAVE to use. These devices cost $100 a piece (I need two since I have two pooters at work) and will monitor any motion... if no motion for 30 mins, it shuts things off. The pooters are plugged into a side that isn't monitored, not a good thing if it were... anyway, my opinion as well as several others are saying this is total horseshit. The gov't spent $100 to save probably only 2 or 3 pennies a day. How RIDICULOUS is that. I know the guy who's brilliant idea this was and I just gotta say, "Mike - what the hell were you thinking???" Secondly, I can't believe that the management is actually going along with it. I could be wrong, MAYBE we'll save 4 or 5 pennies a day. It will take eons to save the $100 each. There was also a rumor that these little devices were there to monitor our 'whereabouts' and that there was a van parked out in the parking lot with surveillance equipment... who knows... eyes are everywhere. I don't have anything to hide, so survey away. This is where the things I learned in my short little class "Who Moved My Cheese" should come in handy... not really upset about the change, just think its a waste.

As I was leaving for work yesterday, Dad told me that he honestly is starting to get tired of having Kathy and the baby there all weekend - its wearing him and Mom out. He mentioned an idea that I had a while back, for her to come over after I've gone to bed and stay the day while I'm at work if she NEEDS to. I told him that was fine - as long as she didn't wear him and Mom out by doing it too much. The light is finally starting to dawn... I also said that Ellis needs to help Kathy out more, since Elyssa is HIS daughter. I also told Dad that Ellis is denying his daughter the one thing he didn't have as a child: a stable home with two parents. That struck something with Dad - a light went on. I guess I just needed to sit back, and let the truth surface… although Ellis is still one of the world’s biggest asses, he’ll no doubt try everything he can to make this all out to be my fault. The thing is with Kathy and Ellis is – they’re always blaming their problems on someone or something instead of facing up that they’ve caused them… either by being stupid or bad Karma. Take your pick. Its really sad, to be so miserable to the point of having to make others miserable to make yourself feel somewhat better. I know a lot of it is human nature and not always done intentionally. On the brighter side of things, I was able to get some good sleep last night and able to drag my butt out of bed to get to work today! :-) Now, I better get busy...

I've added a couple more links to the side bar of some great blogs I've come across... check them out. :-)

I slept like shit last night, and woke up at 2:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. After tossing and turning for a half hour, I decided I wasn't going to face my day and go to work. I was exhausted from my sister Kathy (the Wicked Which of the West - WWW for short as Colin calls her) being here the entire weekend with her baby. I try not to let it get to me - I do stay down here in my basement haven the majority of the time to stay out of the way. My mind also wouldn't shut up... so I took a Xanax to help me get some sleep and now I'm feeling soooo much better. I called my boss and told him I'd be in around lunch time. A few weeks ago, Mom, Kathy and I came up with a compromise (mostly against Kathy's wishes) that she would stay only Friday night and part of Saturday. This worked for about 3 weeks, then she started going behind Mom's back and asking Dad if she could stay another night and another day. Of course Dad was oblivious to what was going on and Kathy was manipulating him into feeling sorry for her. She has a home, she has a husband. A few weeks ago, we had a major war around here. Kathy wasn't sticking to the rules, and Dad didn't see what it hurt to have Kathy here. Well, Dad is blind to anything except the baby... which is great - he's a wonderful Grandpa. But he wasn't supporting Mom at all. He sat there and let Kathy tell Mom what a horrible mother she was, and verbally attack both Mom and I. It was awful. The past few weeks, Kathy has stayed here all stinking weekend and its just really wearing on me. Can't take much more. I went upstairs a little while ago to get my breakfast and Dad asked what I was doing home - so I told him that I just couldn't take Kathy staying here the entire weekend. Its exhausting me beyond anything. Then - just a minute ago, Dad comes down and tells me that he's going to talk to Kathy about just staying Friday night and some of Saturday. I about laughed! I said, "That would be so great - but you realize that's what Mom and I have been trying to do all along?" He's finally seeing how much it wears Mom out having to take care of the baby AND clean up after Kathy constantly. Woohoo! Now, we'll see if it works. Fingers and toes crossed.

More on Layne Staley. So sad!!! :-(

Eight from the Eighties Thanks to Kat and Listener for the link. 1.My lucky number is? Well, I like the number 4... but haven't come across an actual "lucky number" yet. 2.Are you super freaky? Yes, definitely soooo supa freeekaaayy. 3.Do you drink? Do you smoke? Not any more, and no. 4.What *do* boys like? Naughty girls with cooking and cleaning skills. 5.Is heaven a place on earth? Hmmm... could be...if I found the right guy. 6.Have you ever been in a bizzarre love triangle? No, not really... can only deal with one man at a time. 7.Do you get physical? Physical? I'm working on it... been a hell of a long time. 8.Shout, shout, let it all out? YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotta let it alllll out. But not let it all 'hang out' at least not all the time.

Had a great workout again today... feeling good and head is clearer. :-) Looks like another semi-yucky day out, but its clearing. I see some blue sky, so maybe there's still hope for today.

which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen Thanks to Fluffy Muppet for the link :-)

I'm so sad! Layne Staley, the lead singer of Alice in Chains was found dead. Thanks Colin for letting me know.

THIS is funny. Thanks to Fluffy Muppet for the link.

I got up early and got my ass in gear and worked out. My legs feel like rubber. Feel energized. While working out on the weekends, I enjoy watching a favorite movie. Today was City of Angels with the YUMMY Nicolas Cage. Nothing like getting all hot and sweaty watching that man. *snicker* well... oh yeah... There is one or two (or three or four) favorite things I'd rather get hot and sweaty about, but we won't go there. Not much else planned today, just going to putter around and try to stay busy. Its snowing AGAIN so that means no sunning :-( I'm so bummed. Its supposed to be yucky all weekend. Where is that nice Spring weather we were having?!!! I want it back!!! It can rain all it wants to during the work week, all I ask is that its nice on weekends. Not too much to ask, I don't think! Or at least rain at night or after prime sunning hours. Sigh.

Had a fun day today. After I got my cleaning done, I met my friend Linda for brunch (was naughty and had a bacon & cheese omelet and yummy hashbrowns) at the diner my sis Susie works at. Then we headed to the mall for a movie. We saw "The Sweetest Thing" and can I just say that was one funny movie. "Something about Mary" calibur, and Linda and I laughed ourselves silly. After the movie, we wondered the mall a bit, then went our seperate ways to run our errands. Good day. Linda is such a sweetheart. A couple of weeks ago, when we were shopping, she found some really cute black sandals. She got her size, and I tried them on to see how they'd look on me, but unfortunately they didn't have another pair that size so she purchased them (but offered to let me have them, but I insisted she take them). Anyhoo... today when she met me at the restaurant, she brought the sandals to me as a gift for my trip to England. How sweet is that?! :-) They'll look great with my green dress (if I wear that one) and could possibly go with the other dress - depending on which one looks the best with E's wedding dress.

Friday Five! 1.What's your favorite tv show and why? Friends and Ally McBeal. Sorry - can't choose just one. Both shows have heart yet make me laugh. 2.Who is your favorite televison star? Tough one...any one of the Friends' cast and Colista Flockhart. 3.what was your favorite tv show as a child? Brady Bunch, Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeannie re-runs. Non-rerun would probably have to be M*A*S*H. 4.What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? Any and all of the reality shows - Survivor, Cops, etc. Stupid, stupid, stupid waste of time. 5.What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? American Embassy

I'm off the clock, but still at work. I've put in my 40, but have an hour to kill before Girls' Night. So, I'll blog and check out all my fav blogs while I'm waiting. Was going to say 'to kill time' but I enjoy reading blogs, its entertainment, not killing time to me. Brought my digital camera to work today and the software to load my flashcard smart media disk converter thing-a-ma-jig so I can burn CDs of pics. I took some pics of my friends and I. One pic of Sandi and I was posted on our Intranet. The caption reads "Trouble or More. Who is who?" I could say I'm either trouble or more trouble, depends on the day. Sandi is could be either one too. We got in quite a discussion about white fluffy balls and how many "inches" of snow we got. I said about 5 or 6 on my car, but it was deep enough to put my hand in and went up to my wrist... Sandi argued that the lenght of my hand looked longer than 6 inches... then her cubemate Larry got in on it. He said "What are you a man?" Hmmm NO, not a man. Just a bad judge of eyeing inches, like most men can be. tee hee I held up my pinky, and said, "Now this is 5 inches." We all cracked up... and of course the conversation went downhill from there. Today, Sandi and another buddy Randy (who definitely fits his name, but is very faithful to his wife) were talking about things to do at stop lights (very quickly) and train crossings. Gave me lots of ideas that I'll have to try sometime. Fun, fun ideas. OK - enough blogging, I'm off to read some! :-)

Its snowing. Again. Look out the small window in the door down the hall and all you can see is white. When will this stop?!!!!! I went wondering this morning in search of the strange noise (louder than yesterday). Went into Dave's cube and it was coming from his new laptop and docking station. Ran into Dave's cubemate Les, we also came to the same conclusion - that's where it was coming from. When Dave got in a few minutes ago, he poked his head over the wall and apologized to me for the noise and has now figured out how to shut it off. The computer goes into 'hibernation' mode and makes a sound every 40 seconds... it was more like 10, but I'll give it to him. ;-) He thinks he fixed it. Hopefully.

It snowed today. Not just a few flakes, but zillions of big fluffy balls fell from the sky. It started snowing around 8:30am and by the time I left for lunch at 10:45 am, there was about 6 inches on my car to clean off. What the hell?! It continued to snow while I was out to lunch and then in my meeting after. By the time I got back around 1:00pm, it was just barely snowing... so hopefully by now its stopped completely. It wouldn't be a Utah Spring without some snow though. I just don't ever remember that big of a storm dumping so much in such a short time (in the Spring). Yuck. At least the roads weren't bad - that was one good thing.

Well, didn't find out "what" that weird noise was, but found out what cubical it was coming from. Some guy over the wall and down a couple of cubes. His computer was off, but seemed to be coming from his computer. Weird. Anyway, thank God it was not a bat. As soon as Dave came in and turned his computer on, the noise quit. ?? Some guy was teasing me and said "Oh, Karen! Its Dave's MOUSE!!" Uh huh... funny. ;-) At least others were hearing the noise as well and I wasn't losing my mind. Yet.

Check this out: Dewey Color System Thanks to Fluffy Muppet for the link. I am: BLUE PURPLE BLACK: You're a Pioneer You think about why people do what they do. By understanding the motivation of others, you seek to create a better world. Changing the world around you through personal achievements is your everyday challenge.

I came into my cubical this morning to find a card and a small gift for me. I recognized the writing right away, it was my friend Debi. Debi is one of the most caring, giving, sweetest women on this earth. She’s always cheerful and always makes you feel special. Debi wrote me the nicest note to go along with the gift – a gold and emerald pendant that she hoped I would wear to P&E’s wedding (if it matched my dress). How wonderful is that?! Tears stung my eyes at the thought that she would do that for me. Just reminds me that I’ve got some of the best people in my life and am so fortunate!!! My friends are always thinking of me and it means so much to me. Now for the weird… ever since I came to work this morning, I can hear a faint little whistle or chirp every few seconds. Not sure what it is or where its coming from… so quiet, its hard to determine where its coming from. Its gonna drive me batty if I don’t figure out what it is!!!!!!!!!!! I may really go batty… I just asked my friend Renate and she could hear it too… she mentioned that the building may have BATS up in the attic and the sound could be coming from the vent that is almost above my desk! EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! Where the hell is the building maintenance man when we need him?? Oh, I know, he’s out on the back porch having his bi-hourly smoke!

Thanks again Ariel for another fun link!

I taste like Peanut Butter. I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

Peanut Butter - how funny is THAT???? LOVE peanut butter, but I definitely don't hang around where I'm not wanted... at least I don't think so! I'm very perceptive that way... or at least I think I am!! Or...

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

I'm calmer now... the morning had a rough start, but I'm better now. Don't really feel like being here... but I'll stick it out. Have 4 more hours to go. I'll go home, have myself a good work out (if I'm not as achy as I am now from these stupid storms moving in and out!).

Thanks to Ariel for this...

Thanks again to Fluffy Muppet for this link:
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Today is off to a good start. I’m getting slammed with e-mails from people wanting to be registered for a workshop in June. Last I’d heard the dates hadn’t even been firmed up and not even sure if we were going to have it! The project manager of this likes to go off half-cocked and schedule things – then assumes that everyone can get all the little details out of his head. We don’t even have a facility lined up to have this workshop! MALE ENGINEERS are a royal pain in my ass. I can say this – if this project manager were my boss, I’d quit. I will have a chat with my boss when he comes in this morning and have him straighten this out… I’d be happy to straighten it out myself, but there’s a certain chain we have to follow around here... and since I'm a contractor, I have to be nice. I usually am, but right now I sure don't feel like it! When Mondays go relatively smooth (like yesterday), you know that Tuesday is gonna be a bitch. UGH.

Two things that *really* made me laugh today: 1. Coming across the last name of McHorney. Where this name could take me, the possibilities are endless "Could I have some fries with your big mac?" *snicker* You'd think if the McHorney family were really all that horny, then there would be more McHorney's, right? 2. Taking the old family/kid board game Battleship to new heights - to the bedroom: "Hey, you sank my battleship!!!" Everyone wins. Now, those of you who remember those commercials, will laugh (hopefully) harder than those who don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

Last night a bolt of lightening hit the Ben Lomand Power Substation once again... I think this is the second time within a a few that this has happened. Haven't they heard of lightening rods?? Hello.... Power went out about 7:30, came back on for about 5 minutes at 9:45, then was out again until 1am. Sheesh. Hate it when the power goes out. Several counties and severl 100 thousand people were without power. Good thing it wasn't 0 degrees like it was last time!

Find out what kind of driver you are! Thanks to Cupid Girl via Colin for the link.

Getting on to the treadmill this morning for my work out was_a_struggle. Got through the first 10 minutes, then I was fine and glad I made myself get on. Now I'm feeling great... legs are rubbery, but great. :-) Today is my Dad's 68th Birthday... Happy Birthday, Dad! He was happy with the present I got him - his favorite jeans and a nice golf-type shirt. Not an original gift by any means, but he couldn't think of anything he really needed or wanted. He's a hard man to buy things for if he doesn't give us any ideas. The fam will drop by later today for sandwiches and then banana splits for dessert.

Weekend afternoons falling asleep in my recliner with Ashley sleeping on my lap is starting to become a habit. :-) Did it again today. She's such a cuddly creature and makes me feel loved. I've had Ashley for almost 9 years now. She's been such a loyal companion and is always there when I need her. Something about that purr of hers and the little noise she makes always makes me happy. I've always loved cats, and have had my fair share. I've had Ashley the longest - although she was 2 years old when I got her, we bonded right away. Mom and Dad will have the job of taking care of Ashley while I'm in England. I'm hoping they'll take my advice and not shut her down here (downstairs) alone at night... she's a very naughty kitty when she is stressed and feels isolated. I can almost understand how a mother feels when she leaves her child in someone else's care! LOL!! I haven't left her for more than 4 nights (in a row) alone in all the time I've had her. I always get the same treatment when I come back: the first 10 minutes she's incredibly happy to see me, then she gives me the cold shoulder - the attitude of "how dare you leave me!!" By the time I get settled back in home, she loves me again.

Thanks to Fluffy Muppet for this link:

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

Thanks to Still Life with Woodpecker for the link.
Red: 1/100 Blue: 24/100 White: 15/100 Yellow: 5/100

Take the Color Code Test
by Dano

Today's horoscope! You now have the chance to show the powers that be what you're really made of. Find a way to penetrate the confusion with your own strange sense of order. Original ideas may initially seem unwelcome, but you're about to change that narrow-minded way of thinking. Put your two cents into the pot and see if there's enough to buy everyone dinner. Those who walk away before the meal begins have no idea what kind of sumptuous feast they will be missing out on. Looks like today may be a good day... hopefully can cut through more of my confusion about Jeff. We're talking a lot, he's back to where he was before last week... but I still don't know what I want. Taking one day, one bit at a time. I'm still crazy about him (as much as I can be without having met the man face to face), but I gotta think about what's best for me. Its not like I need to make any decisions right away, I still have plenty of time to sort things out. Sigh. I'll just have to see how it all plays out. My heart is guarded - don't worry.

I did my usual Friday morning ritual and did my cleaning. I chatted with my friend Emma (hi!) via e-mail (I usually chat with Colin as well, but he's in Florida) which makes the task of cleaning tolerable. Then after I got the cleaning done, I worked out. The weather was kinda yucky this morning, cloudy but I could see patches of blue sky. By the time I finished lunch, it was sunny and clear, so I got my bathing suit on and headed outside... lovely day. :-) Ahhhhh... I came inside, fell asleep in my recliner with my kitty Ashley on my lap. Next thing I knew, it was 3pm! I got up, showered, went to the store and picked up a couple of pizzas at that local "take and bake" place. Voila - dinner is served. Not that the 2 pizzas were all for me! I fed Mom, Dad, nephew Travis, and myself. Sister Kathy came over, so I decided I'd be nice and offer her some. Maybe if I'm nice to her... maybe she'll offer to get me something next time she's out. Hmmmm... now that would be something new. ;-) Meow!

Friday Five!! 1. What is your favorite restaurant and why? Fiesta Guadalajara, of course!! BEST cheese enchiladas and salsa! Cha, cha, cha. This restaurant is located in Layton, UT - so if you're ever there you need to try it. Yum! 2. What fast food restaurant are you partial to? Can't the majority of "fast food", but I'd have to say Arby's. They're yummy lean, roast beef sandwhiches are just right for me. 3. What are your standards and rules for tipping? If they take good care of me, fast, friendly, service then I'll give them $2 - $3 (just for myself). If they're so-so, they'll only get $1. Now, I'm talking about the average restaurant, not the fancy smancy restaurants. 4. Do you usually order an appetizer and/or dessert? Don't usually order appetizer or dessert. The meal itself is PLENTY for me to eat. Once in a blue moon I'll have dessert, but only if they've got some yummy cheesecake or other scrumcious thing that doesn't include chocolate. (I guess you'd call me a cheap date. LOL!!) 5. What do you usually order to drink at a restaurant? Water with lemon. Gave up soda pop about 2 years ago. If I'm not feeling like water, I'll get lemonade. I live dangerously, don't I???

Got this in an e-mail from a friend and thought I'd share it :-) Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors... but they all have to learn to live in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

Here's my horoscope today... You aren't in the mood to be lied to or taken for a fool. Right now, broken promises are the worst offense. A clerical error or computer glitch could provide you with incorrect data, so keep your eyes peeled for anything that looks suspicious. No matter how bleak the situation may seem, be sure to stay within your personal -- or the company's -- budget. No one can blame you for being a bit cynical, even when things go right. Good part - no one better mess with me... and its a damn good thing I've finished (AND BALANCED) our monthly financials yesterday... but I better be good while shopping today! Dad's 68th birthday is Sunday and I have no clue what to get him.

Reason to be cheerful: 4:00 pm (time to go home from work!) ;-) I will actually get off work about 1:15 tomorrow, I'll have my 40 in. Love being hourly and love having a little longer weekend!

Thanks to Fluffy Muppet for this link! Wowie! You are Redensek! You are techy yet cute, and pretty much all around cool. Everyone loves you! You're fun, popular, and can mold yourself to fit right in to any situation. Hmmmmm....LOL!!! Interesting...

2 weeks ago, I spaced taking my new weekly RA meds on Tuesday night. I hate it when I forget important things like that... I was messing around with my MSN and discovered the Calendar! I now have it set up to remind me to take the meds on Tuesday night... should work... unless for some reason I forget to check my e-mail on Tuesday night... hmmmm... not much chance of that happening. You wouldn't know I sit in front of the computer at work for 10 - 11 hours a day, what the hell am I doing on it now? Hmmm... Me thinks I'm a blog junkie. ;-) Anyway... these meds make me a bit gittery, so I'm cheating and taking a Xanax to go along with it so I can sleep. I tried it last week and it worked like a charm. Zzzzz... nighty night!

Someone told me about this 911 website. It took about 10 minutes to download and about another 10 minutes to watch it. Its a great tribute and quite a tear jerker.

Today was really crazy... had so much to do my head is still spinning. I'm still really confused about what to do about Jeff. Not sure: a) if it will work out; b) if I want this to work out; c) if I should just move on; or d) if Jeff wants it to work out. Quite the dilema... but it will get sorted out in time. Had lunch with my good friends Robin and Linda today. They got me laughing... not even sure how we got on the subject of how cute and little Linda's dog's pee-pee is. We went down-hill from there... onto men's... ummm... things.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and virtual hugs!! :-) I really appreciate it!

Today started with quite the dream as I was waking up... I was married to Billy Idol (the rock star) and was saying good-bye since he was going on tour... the man kissed amazingly well... after he left, I was getting into my car when I noticed some guy following me and he started spraying something all over me that was supposed to make me pass out so he could kidnap and kill me. Hmmm... interesting... I was able to drag my much depressed butt out of bed and made it into work. About 8am, I decided to sign into Yahoo Messenger - just had a feeling to - and Jeff had left me a message about 45 minutes earlier asking me "you around?" It was quite a shock to hear from him after him saying 'good-bye' last Thursday. Not quite sure what to make of it. I replied (he was off-line by then) by telling him I was surprised to hear from him and hoped everything was OK. Well, so I've heard from him. He said he was sorry and wanted to know if I was OK... and he still things we're friends. He said he's got a lot of shit on his mind and didn't want to deal with his when I've got my own shit to deal with. Not sure what I think of that, but I still want to talk to him - as friends if nothing else. I really missed him and he admited he missed me too. Sigh.

Having a reasonably good day today... trying to keep my chin up after Jeff saying good-bye. Weekends was when we talked the most, and I'm nearly done with this weekend. Whew. Thanks to the words of encouragement and inquiries from my friends - couldn't get through this tough time without you all. I talked to my Mom, and told her what happened with Jeff and she's really disappointed for me and gave me some words of encouragement... can always count on Mom. She thinks he a "turd", which made me laugh through my tears (she usually doesn't call anyone names and it caught me off guard). Growing up, if she ever called us a "shit" we knew we were in BIG trouble - much, much more than just calling us by our full names. I got up early, despite the loss of an hour to go back to DLS time and played around on the PC a bit, then worked out, ate lunch and headed outside for an hour or so to soak up some sunshine. Ahhhh... always makes me feel better. Its not quite 60 degrees, but I don't care - it was toasty warm on the deck and I needed the shot of sunshine. My next thing on the agenda is to take a shower because I stink (after my workout and sweating some outside), then I'll either watch a movie or read my book. Just veg the rest of the day. :-)

Having a reasonably good day today... trying to keep my chin up after Jeff saying good-bye. Weekends was when we talked the most, and I'm nearly done with this weekend. Whew. Thanks to the words of encouragement and inquiries from my friends - couldn't get through this tough time without you all. I talked to my Mom, and told her what happened with Jeff and she's really disappointed for me and gave me some words of encouragement... can always count on Mom. She thinks he a "turd", which made me laugh through my tears (she usually doesn't call anyone names and it caught me off guard). Growing up, if she ever called us a "shit" we knew we were in BIG trouble - much, much more than just calling us by our full names. I got up early, despite the loss of an hour to go back to DLS time and played around on the PC a bit, then worked out, ate lunch and headed outside for an hour or so to soak up some sunshine. Ahhhh... always makes me feel better. Its not quite 60 degrees, but I don't care - it was toasty warm on the deck and I needed the shot of sunshine. My next thing on the agenda is to take a shower because I stink (after my workout and sweating some outside), then I'll either watch a movie or read my book. Just veg the rest of the day. :-)

Having a reasonably good day today... trying to keep my chin up after Jeff saying good-bye. Weekends was when we talked the most, and I'm nearly done with this weekend. Whew. Thanks to the words of encouragement and inquiries from my friends - couldn't get through this tough time without you all. I talked to my Mom, and told her what happened with Jeff and she's really disappointed for me and gave me some words of encouragement... can always count on Mom. She thinks he a "turd", which made me laugh through my tears (she usually doesn't call anyone names and it caught me off guard). Growing up, if she ever called us a "shit" we knew we were in BIG trouble - much, much more than just calling us by our full names. I got up early, despite the loss of an hour to go back to DLS time and played around on the PC a bit, then worked out, ate lunch and headed outside for an hour or so to soak up some sunshine. Ahhhh... always makes me feel better. Its not quite 60 degrees, but I don't care - it was toasty warm on the deck and I needed the shot of sunshine. My next thing on the agenda is to take a shower because I stink (after my workout and sweating some outside), then I'll either watch a movie or read my book. Just veg the rest of the day. :-)

take free enneagram test Take the enneagram test? (thanks to Fluffy Muppet for the link :-) )

Reason to be cheerful: Great friends. This may be a repeat, but I can't say it enough. :-)

I finally found the protein bars online that I've been searching for. One place I found them have been out of stock for what seems like an eternity. I refuse to buy these bars in the store because they're too expensive and can save around $1 per bar if I get them online. So, I found then on the Vitamin Shoppe site at a very reasonable price, so I ordered 2 boxes. I don't like chocolate (unless its white chocolate) and it seems like just about every protein bar out there is covered in chocolate. Yuck. I found a lemon crunchie flavor by Designer Whey that is quite tasty. I wish they'd make a peanut butter flavor without the chocolate! Did I mention I don't like chocolate, but LOVE peanut butter??!! There was a time when I absolutley LOVED chocolate as well - Reeses' Peanut Butter cups were my weakness - always had a stash of them in my closet. But, about 2 years ago, I decided chocolate was way too much of a temptation and too high in fat (couldn't stop eating the stuff!!) so I quit cold turkey. It took about 6 months, to totally lose the craving - now the smell doesn't even appeal to me. I don't even like Tootsie Rolls! How un-American is that?! Coming to the decision to cut out a lot of fat was pretty much forced on me. I had my gal bladder removed about 2.5 years ago and since then, my body just can't handle a lot of fat (makes me ill). For a while, I couldn't tolerate any more than 15 - 20 grams a day. I can do about 35 - 40 now, with being able to have one really naughty meal (never deep-fat fried though - that's overload big time) a week. I usually go for my fav cheese enchiladas or something just as yummy. I never realized just how bad my eating habbits were until I had to give all the fatty junk up! I was able to lose 100 lbs (yes - I was quite large!!!!) and still have some to go, but working on it. It was a good life-change and probably saved my life. It wasn't all "over eating" that made me gain so much weight to begin with though, it was due to medications and thyroid problems as well. Its a nightmare being trapped in such a large body.

I am an INFJ! I took this personality test years ago at work, and that's what I was then. Fluffy Muppet and I were talking today and she found a 4-question quick test to take. I'm still and INFJ. We're rare (according to the book) but we're wonderful! What are you??? Take the test. Fluffy Muppet brought up a good question. Are most of the people who blog and use the internet frequenty introverts?? I think it could very well be true - as Fluffy said, "the extroverts are out having fun!". :-)

And the Friday Five for today: 1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day? SHOWER if I'm going to work, or eat breakfast in my jammies if I'm not. 2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed? Read and/or watch TV and spoil my cat, Ashley. 3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day? Trying to get out of such a rigid routine and being such a creature of habit. 4. What routine do you wish you get rid of? Going to work - would like to be independently wealthy and have fun pet projects instead. 5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day? Being able to spend time with my cat and having her sleep by me.

Well, what a shitty day yesterday was. I got dumped by Jeff – who I’d been talking to on the internet (and phone) for close to 16 months. He lives in Indiana and I live in Utah (yeah – slim chance in ever meeting). Two weeks ago, he told me he was ready to meet me and that we’d make plans to when after I got back from England. He’d been acting funny and been upset all week, and I finally found out why. An ex-girlfriend came back into the picture and she wanted to get back together – and despite all the negative things he said about their relationship, he was still considering it. So, he said good-bye to me. I am quite hurt, but not a whole lot I can do. I really care for him and looked forward to hearing from him every day. So, where do I go from here? I move on. I do wish Jeff the best and hope he’s very happy; he deserves that (and so do I!!). After crying and talking to all my wonderful and supporting friends (Emma, Colin, Linda, Sandi, Cindy, Robin, and Nancy) I feel pretty much at peace with this whole thing. I knew from the beginning that this might not work out, but was willing to take the chance. I learned many things from this relationship but the top things was that I could care about someone and that I did want someone in my life. I’ve spent the majority of my life feeling that I didn’t want anyone to love or to love me. I had a 5-year relationship (that I ended about 5 years ago) with a man that I didn’t love and was more of a friendship than love affair. He never met my family and I never met his. It wasn’t the ‘typical’ relationship at all. I did most of the work – he never gave me flowers, cards, or took me ‘out’ – we always stayed in. I guess I stuck with him that long because I did need someone on occasion and didn’t think I deserved better. Then one day a light went on. I decided I did want more than he was giving AND he deserved more than I was giving him. He kept hounding me for the past 4 years – calling every so often asking if I was ready to come back. Ummm… NO. So anyway, I’ve spent the last few years of my life growing and getting over things from my childhood. I’m certainly not the same person I was a year ago, let alone 5 years ago. I’m strong, and tough, and know I can get through anything. (Mostly with the help of friends and family). I haven’t told anyone in my family yet. Mom is in Vegas with her sisters and I don’t really feel like telling Dad because he was never very supportive of this relationship with Jeff and he’s too busy supporting my sister Kathy. I sure don’t want to tell Kathy anything personal – I’ve been burned too many times. I will call my other sister Susie – she’s one that I can really talk to about it and know it will go no further. I know that may seem catty – but I need support right now, not “I told you so’s” and ridicule. One of my favorite quotes: “That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” I heard it on the movie “Steel Magnolias” but don’t know who wrote it… I bet Colin knows though, I think he told me once! Its true – whoever said it.

I had a devil of a time putting a guest book and poll on my blog this morning. I'll have to remember not to change my template during the high traffic part of the day. Just not worth the hassle. Seems like even posting this time of day is a pain in my rump! ;-) Its been a relatively relaxing day so far today... keeping busy doing little things, but nothing major. Need a quiet day. I decided to wear one of my Spring/Summer dresses today since it so soooo lovely outside. Quite hot in here, since we have to have several consecutive days of temps above 70 before they'll turn on the air conditioning. Even if they'd turn on a vent, it would help immensly, but they don't. So, we sit in here in the stuffy, sweltering air. That's the gov't for ya. They could conserve energy by turning heat down in the winter (always poors the heat on) but noooo... they have to make us miserable in the other seasons. UGH. Gimme coolness over HOT any day.

What is it about people who you think are your friends that hurt you, never apologize, quit talking to you, a few months pass by, then all of the sudden start sending e-mail (not to “one” specific person, just a forward) without so much as a how-do-you-do? It’s amazing how much one person can hurt another. Maybe they don’t realize they’ve hurt someone or maybe they just don’t care?? How is it that a person (let’s call her A) can hurt two people (in the same situation, lets call them B&C) and apologizes to A and not to B? That shows me that that the A didn’t give diddly squat about the C’s friendship. How can A be so oblivious to hurting another like that? If A cares enough to apologize to B and not C? As you probably guessed, this happened to me around Christmas time last year. (I’m C) It really hurt me deeply because I thought A was one of my closest friends, who I thought the world of – and who had a heart of gold. Broke my heart to lose her and I’ve been at a loss for months not knowing why she’d hurt me that way and just drop me like a hot potato. I’m far from perfect, but if I knew I hurt someone I’d do anything I could to apologize and try and make it right. I’d rather eat shit (so to speak!) than hurt anyone intentionally. I’m probably being a little stubborn and should contact her and find out what is going on, but I feel she owes me an apology. Am I wrong?? Maybe she thinks I don’t care about her because I haven’t contacted her?? Am I a bitch because I don’t want to be hurt any more and don’t feel its my place to make the first move?? Quite the quandary. Should be pretty simple – but when the friendship and the heart is involved, its never simple. Maybe the friendship just wasn’t meant to last?? I’m very fortunate to have many great friends and I thank God for them every day. I wouldn’t be where I am today without such wonderful, caring and supportive friends. I strive to be a true friend to them as well.

Song of the day: “Don’t Want to Face the Day” by Great White. It actually played on the radio as I was driving to work! Aha! Perfect song for the day. Had a really hard time getting the gumption up to get out of my bed this morning. Guess I’m in a bit of a slump again today… have been since Sunday. I think it must just be from being so tired and borderline exhausted. Its been hard work keeping all the positive energy up, but I know its making a difference. I do feel better just for being here at work. Its going to get better… it will get better… ;-)

Reason to be cheerful: To come home after a long, exhausting day, opening a letter from the company I work for, having the letter state that as an appreciation for my hard work and support to the gov't organization I'm contracted to, my manager has approved a $1000 bonus that will be included in my paycheck this week. I was so happy when I read it, I cried!!!! That's probably a first - which I will blog about shortly on the Something New blog. I know I surely won't see the full $1000 after Uncle Sam gets his cut, but just the fact that all I do is appreciated that much. $1000 bonus for my job is almost unheard of in my company (good benefits though!). My heart is full! :-D

I received this in an e-mail this morning and thought I'd share it. Author is unknown?? JUST FOR TODAY... ... smile at a stranger ... listen to someone's heart … drop a coin where a child can find it ... learn something new, then teach it to someone ... tell someone you're thinking of them ... hug a loved one ... don't hold a grudge ... don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" ... look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are ... don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out ... look beyond the face of a person into their heart ... make a promise, and keep it ... call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi" ... show kindness to an animal ... stand up for what you believe in ... smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind ... use all your senses to their fullest … cherish all your TODAYS