I feel really bad. Mom and Dad had to cancel their trip to Idaho. Mom was really looking forward to it and I hate to see her disappointed. I'm relieved that they're not going though to be honest, I just couldn't face the weekend alone with K & E. But I still feel bad for Mom... she said they'll go in the next month or so and things will probably work out better anyway. She was feeling guilty about not being home on Sunday for my b-day. So I guess things have worked out for the best. My Dad's twin sister Joannie and her husband Ted came up from Salt Lake today to go to lunch with Mom and Dad and I was invited. So... who am I to pass up an invitation to lunch? Joannie is such a sweet lady. She reminds me so much of my Grandma, I found myself tearing up a couple of times because I miss her - I miss both my Grandmas - and Grandpas of course! My Dad is so much like his Dad so its funny that he and Joannie are twins, yet so much like each one of their parents. Lunch was nice, we met at the diner where my sister Susie works. I had breakfast! Yummy! My visit to my general doctor went well. He was glad I came in because of the concern about my blood pressure dropping. So he's put me on half the dose that I was on. He gave me more pain pills - YAY! He actually was surprised that I hadn't asked for any before now (Oct 2001 was the last prescription!). I just don't like taking them unless I really need them. I don't want to become addicted, that happens too easily. I still have quite a few percocets, but I'm flushing them (oh the horror, I know!) because 1) they're over a year old and 2) they make me sick and 3) its not good to give these things away to people. I was talking to Susie about it this afternoon on the phone and she told me not to let Kathy get wind that I've got them or she'll want them. I laughed and said the reason I still have some is that she didn't know about them - or actually where I keep them! Kathy actually found my hiding place once and stole a bunch of Xanax from me, but since I put a REALLY nasty note where they were hidden and found a new place, nothing has been touched. My doctor also gave me something new to try for my RA, in place of the Celebrex, but I got thinking about it and I don't think I better take it until I talk to my RA doc about it on Wednesday. Since I'm on the clinical trial, I don't want to do anything that would mess with the results. BUT after he sees the condition of my joints, he may pull me off the study anyway since things have gotten worse. I have my idea of why things have gotten worse though, and they involve one of the meds I was on for 2 weeks. It was an incredibly beautiful day today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept thinking, this can't be January 31. It just can't be. It was 65 F!! Sooooooooo sunny and gorgeous!!!! When I got home this afternoon, I actually got a blanket, spread it on the deck and read for a while. Spring Fever big time! Even though its been such a mild winter for us, I'm still finding myself having the winter blahs. I want to see GREEN, I want to hear birds chirping, the whole nine yards. ahhhh... but alas, this will not last long. A storm is headed this way. Happy weekend everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yawn! I got up about 4am and took a pain pill, then went back to bed for 3 hours! Felt good to sleep in, especially with the pain pill working a bit. Still a bit in la-la land but moving about easier. I'm going to do a little cleaning but not going to over do. I'm washing all my bed linen, including the waterbed mattress cover. I probably should have waited another week or so to do that, because with my hands hurting its gonna be hell putting the mattress cover back on. Ah well... Looks like my weekend isn't going to go as planned. Kathy doesn't want to go to Idaho with the parents. Mom feels bad, because I actually cried like a boob last night when she told me that Kathy wasn't going. Just all my emotions busted out. I'm so tired and feeling rotten and was really looking forward to a weekend all by myself to re-energize and to run around naked if I wanted to. *snicker* Now I've got to deal with Kathy without Mom and Dad around and I really don't think I can handle it. Even though I live downstairs, I still have to go upstairs to eat and I'll have to see her messes up there which is a real sore spot with me. I can't stand messes. Mom is the same way and cleans up after her. Me on the other hand refuse to clean up after her - she's such a pig. There's still a small chance Kathy will go - Mom was going to ask her again, but I doubt it. I'm really surprised that she's not going, because with her not going with Mom and Dad, she's losing her permanent babysitters and will have to care for the baby 24 hrs a day... which worries Mom too. Mom said Ellis is supposed to help out, but he doesn't do much but make more messes. Sigh. Shit. Damnit - I'm losing the nice goofy effect of the pain pill now just thinking about all of this. LOL!! I gotta get my ass busy anyway and maybe can work off some of my emotions. I'm really OK, I'm just hugely disappointed and now the lovely weekend I was looking forward to has been blown to hell. I'll try and make the best of it. I'll just lock myself away down here and pretend Kathy and Ellis don't exist.

My weekend has begun! YAY! The week went amazingly fast when I look back. Today was a lot crazier than I thought it would be, but it worked out OK. I got quite a bit done. Monday is going to be busy, busy, busy but I'm trying not to think about it. I want to enjoy my weekend. I'm so glad that I was able to work my 40 hrs this week, and not take any sick leave. Next week will be a different story with the the other scope I'm having on Tuesday, then my RA doc appt on Wednesday. I'm so lucky to have health insurance. I'm scared to find out how much my portion will be for the scopes though! My boss told me that I could bring some work home on Monday night to work on Tuesday before I go in for my scope, that way I won't have to take so much sick leave. Yes, I *could* work next Friday to make up the time, but I doubt I will want to. This morning, I forgot to write about the nice surprise I had in my cubical! Debi (one of the sweetest ladies on this earth) had put little birthday cake confetti on my desk with a note "Happy Birthday on Sunday!" Then there was a big ribbon on my monitor, and a pretty gift bag with a card. The gift bag contained a gift certificate so I get to go shopping. YAY! Its to a store that has the cutest sweaters, and I seem to be addicted to sweaters and Debi knows this. My two favorite cardigans have come from her and that store. Sandi came to see me after lunch. She came into my cubical with the most sad look on her face, like the world was falling apart. First thing she said was how sorry she was. I had no idea what she had to be so sorry about! Then she said she felt awful because she'd left my gift at home. I just laughed! I wasn't expecting anything and I told her she didn't have to get me anything... but she said she wanted to. Anyway, I told her Monday would be fine! Even my family isn't celebrating my b-day until Monday. So its no big deal. When I got home today, I found a box from Amazon.com on my bed! Yipeee!! Something from Emma and Pete! I've also had a big box sitting on my floor for the past 2 weeks from Colin and the Lovely D. How sweet are my friends?! You all are spoiling me! I'll behave though - and not open them until Sunday morning. I am so looking forward to the weekend. Mom and Dad are going to Idaho, and I'm HOPING and PRAYING that Kathy and the baby go with them. That would be the BEST birthday present ever. To have total and complete peace and quiet. To have a total KAREN weekend, a do whatever the fuck I want weekend. To not have to deal with Kathy and her shit. If she goes to Idaho, then her husband will NOT be staying here. I don't trust him and I refuse to stay in the house with him without Mom and Dad around. I hope it works out!! I soooo need a Karen weekend. OK - I'm beat! I'm gonna go get comfy and watch 4 episodes of Days of Our Lives that I taped! G'Night!!

Larry has partly redeemed himself. He showed up at 6:30am this morning to finish the materials up for the CD. In the 8 years I've been here, this is the first time I remember seeing him here before 9am. LOL! So, I'm a lot calmer now and think I'll be OK time-wise. I also took a pain pill earlier, so I'm sure that's got a lot to do with me being calmer too. *snicker* I really needed the pill, I'm really hurting again today. This has got to stop! Grrr!

Well, I can't say that I'm surprised when I came into work this morning to find nothing on my desk from Larry. I'm so pissed. I don't understand why this keeps happening. Yesterday afternoon he was so close to finishing and he said there would be no problem with finishing the stuff so I could start burning those 100 CDs. Now, his problem has once again become mine. Although it really shouldn't be my problem, it always seems to turn out that way, whether I try not to make it my problem or not. Now, whenever he decides to come in, I'll already be hours behind. Grrr. I'm so not in the mood for this today! He's chosen the wrong person to let down today. This pic is really too cute fo him, but it still fits the situation.
OK, enough bitching... I'll start working on my database stuff and get that all done because I'm sure once I get the materials I'll have to use both my PCs to burn CDs.

Holy shit! I can't believe I went all day long without posting anything here! LOL! My brain was out to lunch. I managed to do the Wednesday memes but blew this off. I didn't really have all that much to say anyway... I would have complained horribly this morning because my joints hurt so bad that I had to take pain pills while I was at work. I know, I shouldn't have gone into work, but I really couldn't stand the thoughts of staying here moping around when I wouldn't have felt any better. So I figured that I'd go to work and be paid to be miserable and do some work to get my mind off the pain. It sure seems like my blog has become a complainer's paradise lately with all my health stuff. I'm really trying to keep a positive attitude and concentrate on getting well. I made an appt with my general doc for Friday because I think he needs to re-evaluate my high blood pressure meds since my BP has been dropping so much AND I'm out of pain pills. Actually the last pain pills he prescribed was Oct of 2001 so they're over a year old, sooooo I'm not supposed to keep them longer than a year anyway so I'll get some more pills while I'm there. I also wanted to make sure he was in the loop about all my other problems as of late. I came home from work tonight and headed directly for the bathtub where I soaked in hot water and lovely LUSH bath stuff. I had the cotton candy scent, it felt sooooooooooo good!! Ahhhhh! I almost didn't get out, but my skin started to pucker. tee hee I fixed dinner, ate dinner and soon I will shuffle myself off to my nice warm and cozy waterbed. Last night I was asleep by 6pm and I'm thinking I'll do the same tonight. I'm so damn tired! 6pm is only 1.5 hrs earlier than I normally go to sleep so in that context its not *that* early since I get up at 3:30am to be to work by 5am. Tomorrow is my FRIDAY! YAY!! I've been enlisted to burn 100 CDs for two workshops next week, and that will be my number one priority tomorrow. Larry WILL get me the files tonight - they should be sitting on my desk right now, or will be soon so I can start burning first thing in the morning. Fun, huh? I made labels for them and they'll look pretty spiffy. It shouldn't be too bad of a day tomorrow, the only other stuff I need to do is my database work. I ran into one of my flirting buddies today, Joe. He's such a funny guy - and pretty sexy. We tease each other once in a while when we see each other in the hall. Today, he saw me and got this look in his eyes and a huge smirk on his face. I asked what he was thinking... and he said he couldn't tell me, it was too bad. So I said, "Thanks, Joe. Now all sorts of naughty thoughts are going to be running through my mind wondering what you are thinking." We laughed and went our seperate ways. Just as I was going home, I was just coming out of the restroom as he was about to go into the men's room. He got that look on his face again, and asked me if I ever figured out what he was going to ask me. LOL! I said, "No, but I sure had fun trying to figure it out." Then he said, "OK, I'll tell ya... I saw you earlier and the first thing that came to mind is wondering if you were wearing panties under your dress!" I cracked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He turned all red and was laughing too. Then, I said "Joe, the answer is no. Just nylons." We both just laughed and he said "I really gotta go now!" He turned around really fast and went into the restroom. Hmmm... I think I got him! SCORE for me! OK... I'm off like a dirty shirt!

I actually accomplished everything on my to-do list today at work! What a great feeling, now I can go home without thinking of all the things I'll need to finish tomorrow. I still have work to do, of course, but no little project hanging over my head. I even managed to do all my Tuesday memes. I'm so impressed with myself! I'm not up for much tonight, just going home, getting something to eat, checking e-mail and going to bed early to read or watch TV and hopefully will fall asleep early, a little extra sleep will do my body good. I went out to lunch with some girls and a couple of guys from work today. We had a lot of laughs. I ate more today at lunch than I have in about 3 weeks but still have half of it left, but that's OK, I'll have it for lunch tomorrow. That's about it for now... TTFN!!

I'm in a better mood today! My RA isn't hurting me quite as bad - to be honest it was really painful to even type yesterday but my fingers are feeling a lot better today. I'm here at work, trying to get in the mood to do some work. Yesterday was Mom's birthday. Sunday I made a big pan of lasagna for her dinner last night, and I went home an hour early to get it into the oven and get the rest of dinner ready. Well, I got home and Mom had baked her peach cobler (her chosen b-day treat) and turned the oven off. Well, when I went to turn the oven back on, nothing happened. But of course I didn't even realize it until 30 mins later. Dad checked the ignitors and the broil came on, but not the baking one. Gas wasn't even coming through. So, dead oven. We ended up ordering Pizza Hut! LOL! It was good though. Mom and I joked around and said that now we could put the lasagna in the freezer, then have it for my birthday dinner! Not a bad idea actually, but she said she may not be able to wait that long if the oven gets repaired. It was a nice night. My brothers, a couple of their kids, and sister Susie came over. Kathy, her so-called husband Ellis and their baby Elyssa weren't there (which I loved), but they should have been there for Mom. Supposedly Elyssa had her physical therapy appt, Kathy had her "therapy" appointment and Ellis went along. They were gone all afternoon. Finally about 7pm, when the party was winding down, Kathy finally called and said "I'm filling out paperwork and will be home in a while." What a load of BS. They disappear like that all the time, and always have some lame excuse about where they've been - in MOM's car. Just goes to show just how selfish they are - to miss Mom's party. Anyway, I think Mom enjoyed it. Susie and I bought Mom a bubblegum machine. She's wanted one for years and I found one in a catalog and ordered it for her. She was soooooo excited!!! She laughed and got tears in her eyes. That made me feel good. This machine takes money so now she can make some money to buy more bubblegum AND perhaps a treat for her. OK... me best get to work now! Hope everyone has a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!

A friend of mine just sent me these and I thought they were so funny, I had to share them! A Gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients while he was performing colonoscopies........ "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" "Can you hear me NOW?" "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!" "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?" "You know, in some states, we're now legally married." "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...." "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" "If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!" "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Every have one of those days when you just don't feel quite yourself and don't feel like blogging? Well, I'm having one of those days. I'm OK, really... just don't have much to say other than complaining and I really don't even feel like complaining! LOL! I think I'll blame it on being a Monday... yeah... Mondays suck. I do wish everyone a great day though! I hope we all get through our Mondays!!

Question of the Week by Sara Have you ever wanted to go sky diving or surfing? What about flying a plane? No, never wanted to do any of those things. Flying in a plane is enough for me. What are some of the dreams you have, the things you want to do before you die. I'd like to travel more and see more of the world. Experience some new things.

Another quizzie that I snagged from Kane
What Kind of Coffee are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Snagged this quiz from Soul LOL!!
Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
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There's been an upside to being so sick. I've finally come off my plateau and have lost weight again. YAY. Don't recommend this method of losing weight by any means but its nice to see my clothes getting bigger. I'm suffering from saggy butt syndrome today when I put on a pair of jeans! LOL! Looks like tomorrow I'll need to go through my closet and get rid of the big, and hopefully can fit into the next size down. I tried on a pair of black jeans that were ever so tight a month ago and those fit so I'm thinking the other jeans might fit too. I'll be running out of dresses that fit soon too which will mean shopping. Damnit *snicker* Oh how I hate to have new clothes. Just kidding of course! I decided to take a pain pill earlier and I'm glad I did. I got some relief and had me a nice nap while snuggled up in my favorite quilt on my bed. Ahhhh. Nice way to spend an afternoon!

Snagged this quiz from Ked's site.
My personality is rated 19.What is yours?
what does that mean? Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

I just love Saturday mornings. Its MY time to catch up on all the blogs I read that I don't get a chance to read much during the week. While bloghopping this morning, nearly every time I go back to my site to get to the next link, a pop up window for Clicksites (to search the web) comes up - I'm about to go apeshit on it! WTF?! I really, really, really hate pop ups! I know - there are programs out there that will stop them, I just need to invest in one. Me thinks I'm cranky today. My joints are beyond sore and have been getting steadily worse the past couple of weeks. I'm thinking that this may have been caused by the medication called Q something I was taking before my "test". I did some research on it, and it is for taking certain medications out of one's system - one of the medications it listed was Arava, which was one RA med that I had that bad reaction to a few months back. So, I think that it might have been taking my current RA meds out of my system ?? I haven't seen my finger joints this bad in months and they're waking me up at night because they hurt so bad. My left hip, left knee, left wrist, and both shoulders and feet are bad today too. I'm not taking the Q stuff any more, so I'm hoping things will get back on track. I suppose the joint pain could be complicated by the ulcerative colitis as well though, as that is one of the symptoms. So I just may be getting a double whammy. I don't have much planned today, just going to take it easy and catch up on the TV shows I taped during the week... and of course take me a nice nap!

This quote is by far one of the best I've read in quite a long time. I found it at Susan's site. "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, pee in it, and serve it to the people that piss you off." Classic.

Same shit, different day here in my world! But I'm feeling better than I did yesterday. Thanks again for everyone's support!!! I truly get tears of joy in my eyes because my heart is warmed by all of your comments. Ked called me last night to see how I was doing, and we chatted for about a half an hour! She's so funny and cool! I found an article on Ulcerative Colitis last night on Web MD. Very interesting article. It said that people with ulcerative colitis usually have abnormal immune systems - hence my Rheumatoid Arthritis. So, my lovely immune system is probably behind this whole thing. I'm going to attempt to clean this morning! Then I've got to run to Sam's Club later on with Mom to get a few things, and run to get my prescriptions at the pharmacy. I imagine by then I'll be ready to come home and crash. Mom is a little bummed this weekend, she'd (along with my Dad) planned on going to Idaho to spend the weekend with her sister but it didn't work out that way. Then I suggested that they go up to Idaho next weekend and she said they couldn't do that because its my b-day next Sunday. I told her to go - they'd be home Sunday afternoon anyway. So, it looks like they're going to plan on it. It would actually be an incredible birthday present to ME if her and Dad took Kathy and the baby along with them! LOL!! Mom said she was going to ask Kathy if she did want to go - I hope she does! OK - gotta get cleaning!! Hope everyone has a great day!

I'm overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for all the supportive comments and good vibes you all are sending me. I can feel them! I've been home for nearly 3 hours now, I took a nice nap and have just been resting. On the way home, my Mom and I stopped off at the diner where my sister Susie works and she fixed me a pancake and a scrambled egg (the nurse suggested it and it sounded incredibly good). Mmmm... tummy liked it very much indeed. The test went well - they gave me a shot in my IV, I closed my eyes and next thing I knew, they were taking the scope out. The staff was incredible and made me feel very comfortable. The best part (other than the drugs!) was a nice warm blanket they put over me. Ahhh. They explained everything really well, although I'm glad my Mom was there with me to hear the results with me because I was still a little out of it. I've got ulcerated colitis. My colon is very inflammed and irritated, and filled with fiberous and granual type stuff so they're doing a biopsy on that (not cancerous though!). The doctor said, "No wonder you've been so sick!" I still need to have the other scope done (down the throat) and he'll check for anything that could be complicating things. He's given me some pills to take 4 times a day that will hopefully try and calm my colon down and ease the inflammation. They took some blood to check my electrolite levels, etc., too so he's being very thorough. My very dear friend Colin called me just a few minutes ago to see how I was. YOU'RE the BEST, Colin!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again!!! (yes, I know, I'm racking up the demerits on the thank you's tee hee) OK... I think I'm going to go rest some more and watch Grumpy Old Men. I got the idea when talking to Colin, him saying they're having a heat wave in Boston today, up to 25. Then I got thinking of the song "We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave..." and that song always reminds me of the movie. So, there ya have it. Hmmm... me thinks I'm rambling. TTFN - and thank you all again!!!

I've been lax about posting today! Shame on me. It wasn't a very good day - I guess having a semi-good day yesterday caught up with me, with a vengance. So... I managed to work until 1pm and got the things that Timster needed done today, then I came home and crashed. I took the first dose of the cleansing meds about 2pm and the last 3 hours have been most fun to say the least. I still have one more dose to take, then drink 32 oz more water, take some pills, then go to bed if I can. I'm so anxious to get this test done and over with. UGH. I'm sure I'll be OK, I'm just nervous about what they will find - or won't find.